


One question

by Goddess_of_feels



Category: Kid n Teenagers (Web Comic)
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 11:41:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13457511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goddess_of_feels/pseuds/Goddess_of_feels
Summary: Ok so my best friend and I wrote this fan fic cause this is a smol fandom. We update every Tuesday,Wednesday and Thursday so pls be patient. Dont forget to leave kudos and a comment. Hope u like it.,and this is probably our first one so pls dont hate ._.





	One question

**Author's Note:**

> These are not my characters, except for ava,sapphire and bonnibel. The creator for the rest of the characters is Z-t00n or z doodler, can be found on her devianart and Tumblr.

AIDEN  
I hated school. Hated homework, hated schoolwork, hated class, hated PEOPLE. It’s not that I’m antisocial – it’s that I actually hate people. I just don’t ever want to be acquainted with them; all I need is my DS and sketchbook (and Huggles… shh).[a] So, basically, school is a completely useless crapshoot. There is one good thing that comes out of school, though – lots of free drawing time.  
So there I was, in the middle of Whatever class, sketching behind a textbook (no one would suspect a thing). The teacher was going on and on about something… a new student. I didn’t look up, because frankly I didn’t care. They were probably going to be a freak, just like everyone else in this school. The only reason I’d ever have to worry about them is if they wanted to be my friend. No way in HECK was that happening, FREAKS.  
So I kept my head down, drawing myself smashing Ted’s stupid Jeffmelons (which I would love to do, except for the fact that Ted would murder me if I did it – again) until Mrs. What’s-her-name said something that concerned me:  
“Ava, you’ll be sitting next to… AIDEN.”  
I snapped up the moment she said my name, mostly because we basically have an unsaid agreement – if she doesn’t bother ME, I won’t bother HER. So this was pretty rare. But the only face I saw was this girl smiling right in front of me.  
I swear, it was the weirdest sensation[b] in the entire world. For a few seconds that felt like hours it was just that girl and me and my stupidity. Everything literally seemed to fade away and my face just kept getting hotter and hotter. My heart was pounding so hard, and I felt like I had just completed a marathon. I was even kind of short of breath. And I felt insanely self-conscious – every inch of me suddenly felt like it was in the spotlight and my body was tense. This was very new. Up until then I never gave a damn about anything.[c] Now I just felt like the biggest idiot in the world, and I didn’t know why. I kind of felt like punching the crap out of someone, too. But I didn’t, because for once in my life I didn’t feel angry or even a little judgemental about anyone except myself. I had a feeling that I couldn’t even feel mad if I wanted too.  
I can picture her perfectly: Short-ish wavy black hair, just a little bit purple at the tips. Her dress was a sleeveless V-neck and lilac, and had a rabbit at the bottom. She had lilac leggings and high tops and long, black gloves. Her eyes were big and greenish-blue. I felt like I was drowning in them. And she had a headband, too, with bunny ears… just like mine. In fact, the only thing I could think of in that moment was, Goddamn, what the hell is going on here? Is this what it feels like to be dying?  
“I’m Ava. What’s your name?” she asked in the sweetest voice. And that’s when I fell out of my chair.  
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” she said, and my heart jumped a little. I bounced up as fast as I could, leaving the chair on the ground. My face was burning, heart jackhammering, brain forgetting how to talk.  
“I – uh…ummm,” was all I could muster. So I bolted. Straight through the door, cursing under my breath the whole way to the bathroom.  
Once I got to the bathroom, the first thing I did was lock the door. I was so damn embarrassed that I didn’t think I could face anyone in that moment. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. So, lacking logic, I just backed myself into a corner, pulling my knees to my chest to form a little ball.[d] My nerves were completely frayed; my heart was pounding, my stomach hurt, and I was breathing hard. [e][f]My brain was on overdrive, trying (unsuccessfully) to figure out what the heck was going on with me. I kind of forgot the rest, because I went into a full-blown panic attack, and then I think I passed out internally (even though I was still technically conscious), and that was that.  
* * *  
What I do remember is that I came to my senses when I heard someone calling my name. It sounded like they were in the bathroom, and it also sounded like Chris, so I looked up.  
It was Chris. “The janitor gave me the keys.” When I said nothing, he continued. “Your teacher called Mom, but she asked me to come because she’s still visiting Grandma in Toledo. You’ve been in here for an hour, Aiden. Are you okay?”  
I absolutely wasn’t okay. But that’s not what I said. “I don’t feel good.” I just wanted to get the heck out of school, honestly.  
I could tell Chris didn’t believe me for a second, but he didn’t say that either. He still looked concerned, though, and he said, “Okay, let’s get you home.”  
He stuck out his hand towards me, but I still must’ve been defensive, because I said, “DON’T TOUCH ME, YOU FREAK!”  
Chris kinda jumped back, slightly offended but mostly miffed. “Whoa, RUDE. With that attitude, I might just leave you here in the bathroom.”  
Well that did it. I was completely exhausted, felt awful, had been having a panic attack for an HOUR, and was overall having the worst day of my life. It even topped the one when Chris and Ted became best friends. My nerves were completely frayed, and it just wanted to get the hell out of here and forget this had ever happened. To top it off with the suggestion of being abandoned was just too much; so I burst into tears.  
I saw Chris’s annoyance turn to concern in an instant. I guess because he was my older brother or something. Saying nothing, he picked me up, carrying me out the door like a baby. I didn’t even try to fight it; I was too drained to care anyway. I almost kind of liked it. (Almost.)

CHRIS  
So at this point I was pretty darn worried, because I hadn’t seen Aiden cry like this since before he could talk. (Except when Ted did something to him, but those were more like crocodile tears.) The worst that could happen was that his eyes got wet, and even that much took a lot. So for him to be in a full, blown-out episode… something must have happened.  
I decided that it wasn’t the best time to ask for details, though, so I just played the role that I had little practice for: older brother. In the back of my head I wondered if there was some kind of encouragement I could give. I knew how to deal with negative emotions - you pick up a few things being Ted’s friend - but when my usually cranky and judgemental brother started freaking out, it was kind of overwhelming to the point that the only encouragements I could think up involved cats. Oh well. Maybe Mr. Foofy would have an idea.  
For now, though, I had to get the poor kid home, so I could make it in time for the midday shift at work. It was really nice to carry him, too. He didn’t fight it, which only made me more worried, but for now I just enjoyed it. Usually he’d be scratching my face off at this point. So I carried him outside to where I had parked Ted’s van (that I totally had permission to use).  
It wasn’t until I put him down that I realized I left the dang keys in the bathroom.  
“I’ll be right back!” I called to Aiden, rushing back inside the school. “I forgot the keys!”  
Ted is going to kill me, I thought worriedly. I had managed to swipe his keys without him noticing, but he definitely was going to notice his van missing if I didn’t get it back soon.  
I skidded into the bathroom, grabbed the keys and started quickly walking out of the school, relieved. Until I heard someone yelling.  
“Hey!” I turned. It was some girl with wavy hair, looked about Aiden’s age. Her headband was pretty unique too; it had bunny ears, just like Aiden’s hoodie. She ran up to me.  
“You’re Aiden’s brother, right?”  
“Um, yeah.”  
“Is he okay?”  
She kind of caught me off guard. I had never seen this girl before, but she seemed pretty concerned about Aiden. I thought about him and how shaken he seemed.  
“Um, I think so. I’m not exactly sure what happened.”  
“Well, I’m Ava. I sit next to him in class. Can I have your address to check in on him later?” I guess I should’ve said no, but I was pretty surprised that Aiden was actually making a real live human friend, so here’s what I said instead:  
“Sure.”  
* * *  
Aiden was waiting for me outside, sitting by the van and looking kind of pissed. Oops. I guess I took a little bit longer than planned.  
“What the hell took you so long?” he asked, majorly annoyed. I just smiled. Seemed like the old Aiden was slowly returning.  
“You’ll see,” I replied mysteriously, getting into the car. Aiden looked like he wanted to press the issue, but I guess he was too emotionally exhausted to bother, so he just got in the car and didn't talk the whole way back. I drove like a maniac, too (I still had to get Ted his van back and get to work), but I guess Aiden was used to it, what with him being a racer and whatnot. In fact, he was fast asleep by the time we got home.  
I carried him inside and laid him on the couch as soon as I parked Ted’s van (he was sleeping too, so he didn't notice - mission accomplished). I grabbed a blanket for him, told Foofy that he was in charge while I was gone,[g][h][i][j][k] and took off towards Ted’s house (again) to wake him up so he could get us to work in time.  
Once we were in the van, I started to laugh. Ted looked at me strangely.  
“Um, Chris? You okay?”  
I nodded, but kept laughing at the way the day was turning out.  
AIDEN  
I wasn’t sure for how long I had been sleeping, but I do know that I woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing. I didn’t want to get up, but it kept ringing and I was getting pretty pissed. Chris had the key! He could open the door himself!  
Then I remembered the incident that had happened that day. Was it a dream? Sure felt like it. In fact, it felt like a scene from a weird movie or a comic strip of some sort. In any case, I sure hoped that I had imagined it. But if that was true, then what was I doing lying on the couch? It occurred to me that what I felt was something I had never, ever felt before. Wait… could it actually be…? The doorbell was relentless, and it was breaking my thoughts. I finally got up, majorly annoyed.  
Screw ya, Chris, I thought, shuffling over to the entrance, 100% ready to tell him off.  
I opened the door and opened my mouth. But it wasn’t because I was starting to lecture Chris. It was because the new girl was standing in front of my house, smiling.  
I shut the door, hyperventilating and trying to force the heat out of my face. Damn. What the heck was she doing here?  
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, and opened the door again. My attempt to smoothly ask her how she got my address came out like, “Um, so, you, uhhhh, how did you…? Umm…”. I looked down, completely embarrassed, but she seemed to understand what I was trying to say anyway.  
“Your brother gave it to me.”  
Chris, that shithead. I would have to plan his murder later. Right now my brain was barely remembering how to form complete sentences. I looked up, but before I could get a word out she said,  
“I just wanted to see if you were okay.” She smiled again. I swear, I could stare at that smile for hours. Then, blushing, she leaned forward and hugged me.  
So I turned and ran. Straight up to my bedroom, flustered, wondering what else the day could torture me with and cursing myself the whole way there.  
CHRIS  
I had just gotten home from work. Ted was going to hang out at my house for a while, so I was in a pretty good mood. But when I got to the front door, I noticed that it was wide open, and I could hear someone running up the stairs.  
“Shit, someone’s breaking in!” said Ted. I hadn’t thought about that, but now I was worried about Aiden, so I dashed up the stairs too, rushing into Aiden’s room.  
What do I see? Aiden passed out on the floor, and that hallway girl, Ava, leaning over him and doing CPR. I asked no questions, said nothing in fact. I just stifled a giggle, got out my smartphone[l][m][n][o] and started filming.  
TED  
I was also pretty freaked out the moment that I realized that there could be some sort of burglar in Chris’s house. I was kind of hesitant to go in, especially if the only reward could be to rescue Aiden, but Chris ran upstairs like there was a pack of dogs chasing after him, so I had to make a split-second decision. Stay out here and out of potential danger, or follow my best friend and put my life at risk. I sighed. Stupid morals, I thought, chasing after Chris and yelling his name.  
I found him in the doorway of Aiden’s room, smiling like a crazy person and filming the show that was going on in the center: Some girl leaning over Aiden, who had fainted, doing mouth-to-mouth on him. It was just so bizarre and unexpected that I was left almost speechless.  
“Um, what.... Is going on here?” Then I look at Chris, putting a finger up to his lips, smiling and trying desperately not to laugh and I realize that this was kind of funny. Then Aiden suddenly sits up straight, and his eyes swerve around wildly, trying to find out what in the world was going on.  
“Aiden! Oh my God, are you okay?” says the girl, eyes full of legitimate concern. When Aiden focuses on her, he actually yelps, and his face turns even redder than it already was. I start to crack a smile. Obviously flustered, he tried to respond.  
“Uh… I’m, um, I -- I.... Uhhhh…”. It was actually funny. Chris was starting to lose it. But it got funnier when the girl just leaned over and kissed his cheek. Aiden passed out again. The girl shrieked. I ran downstairs to get a bucket of water, finally laughing.  
How could I not? It was like a scene from the most over-acted comedy or a TV show or even a semi-good comic strip. The sheer absurdity of what was going on was actually enough to make me laugh harder than I had in a very long time. Seeing Aiden flustered like that was a nice bonus, too. In fact, the only emotions I had ever seen him display were anger, disgust, smugness, boredom, and happiness (at my expense, usually.) And to think that I thought that this was going to be a completely normal and generic kind of day.  
I hauled the bucket of water up the stairs, spilling only the minimal amount. The girl was once again leaning over Aiden, doing CPR. I go in and dump a liter of cold water on Aiden’s face.  
“What the heck!” says the girl. “Who the hell are you?” I stifle a grin. Could she possibly not have noticed me and Chris standing in the doorway this entire time?  
“Shoo! Beat it you freak!” Oh my God, I thought. It’s a girl version of Aiden.  
Then she notices Chris taping the encounter, looking like he’s about to explode with laughter.  
“Hey! Out! What the hell are you freaks doing here?” I was too shocked to respond, and Chris seemed like he wouldn’t be able to open his mouth without laughing. The girl started to push me out (she was actually pretty strong), but then Aiden sat up, spluttering and coughing.  
“Aiden!” forgetting all about us, she rushed to his side.  
“What’s going on?” he said, probably confused beyond words. The girl turned and gave me and Chris a look of pure hatred. “Hold on,” she said to Aiden. Then she slammed the door in our faces. She must’ve been so focused on Aiden that she never noticed Chris sneaking in silently and continuing to tape behind the dresser.  
I just kept watching through a crack in the door.  
“I was so worried!” exclaimed the girl. “Are you okay now?”  
“I think I’m okay,” he said, turning red once again.  
“That’s good,” responded the girl, blushing and giving him a sweet smile. Then she kissed him again. You know what happens next right? Aiden faints, the girl shrieks and starts doing mouth-to-mouth, and I run downstairs, but not to get a bucket of water. To get some popcorn. I could swear that this would be a scene from a movie. It was just too crazy to be real.  
When I get back upstairs, the girl is still crouched over Aiden and doing CPR, so I manage to sneak in without being noticed. I handed Chris some popcorn and we started eating it quietly.  
Aiden finally bolts up. “Um, what am I… what is… what...?” I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.  
“Aiden? Are you okay?” The girl was so endlessly patient with him that I wondered if she was, like, bipolar or something, recalling the way she acted with me and Chris. With Aiden she was this sweet, nice, sympathetic girl, but with me and Chris it was a different story. I wondered how she was with everyone else.  
“I’m okay, I think…” started Aiden, but then locked eyes with the girl and lost the ability to speak again. “You… um, I mean, uhhh… what are you… me… I… ummmm…”. He looked down. The girl kissed him again.  
But he didn’t faint this time. He kissed her right back. On the lips.  
Chris couldn’t take it. He jumped out from behind the dresser and exclaimed, “YEAH! MY BABY BRO JUST GOT HIS FIRST GIRL!”  
The girl and Aiden didn’t even notice. They were too busy making out. I raised an eyebrow, stifling a grin. It was disgusting, but I also felt a strange urge to clap, like this was a theater show or something and this was the grand finale. Chris was still filming, and I was still watching, stuffing my face with popcorn. It occurred to me that Aiden was only twelve, too young, I think, to be doing this, but I kept my mouth shut.[p][q]  
They finally broke apart and then they finally noticed us, standing and staring and filming the show and eating popcorn. Their jaws dropped for a second, then the girl jumped up and started telling us off, calling us freaks and shoving us out the door. She slammed it shut, and a split second later I heard it lock.  
My jaw was still wide open when I turned to Chris, who was just smiling like an insane person. Then we both started laughing our heads off. We spent the next few hours watching the tape over and over again on the couch, laughing until we couldn’t breathe.

AIDEN  
I finally managed to grasp reality when Ted and Chris were out of the room. I locked the door, because if I was going to be with this girl, I certainly wasn’t going to be taped by a couple of freaks.  
When I turned I experienced that same weird sensation from earlier on the day. Everything kind of faded away and I was left with the girl - Ava - and my own stupid feelings.  
“Are you okay?” she asked sweetly. “You had me worried there.” My mind was drawing a blank, but finally some words popped into my head.  
“Yeah, now that you’re here.”  
I couldn’t believe what I had said, or done, either. It was like anger didn’t even exist when I was alone with Ava. Just instincts and maybe nerve, because I think you really needed some guts to kiss a girl. I finally admitted to myself that I liked her. A lot. Like, too much. She was really cute, and sweet (to me). But I had witnessed her dark side, too. It was identical to mine, so that was definitely raised her appeal.  
She was blushing, smiling that sweet smile. I kissed her again. Then her smartphone rang, and the moment was kind of ruined. But surprisingly, she ignored it.  
“Whoever is on the other side isn’t as important as you.”  
Then we started talking. About everything. The more I got acquainted with her, the more I loved her, and the easier it was to think of what to say. My heart still jumped every time she mentioned my name, but at least I wasn’t blubbering like an idiot anymore.  
AVA  
So far, it had been shaping up to be the best day of my entire life. Sure, I’ve liked boys before. Sure, I’ve kissed them before. But every one of those times I knew it was temporary, and every one of those times I had stomped on their hearts. Heartbreak was fun. Watching people suffer was fun. For me. I had never kept a boy for longer than a week, and even getting there took some serious effort on their part. After all, everyone is pretty much a freak at the core. (Except for me, of course.)  
But Aiden was different. Not sure why, I guess it was intuition. If someone wanted to be me my sweetheart, even if it was just a temporary adjustment, they would have to struggle to impress me. Not Aiden. It was effortless. I was actually in love, and for once in my life I cared.  
We spent hours and hours talking and cuddling in his room, the door locked and the lights dimmed. I was enjoying it so much that the time just flew by; it was 5:00 pm before I knew it, and I had to get home, as much as I hated leaving Aiden.  
“I’m so sorry, but I have to go now,” I explained. “I’ll see you later, though.” I never liked school, but for once I was upset that it was Friday; no school meant no seeing Aiden.  
“Oh. Okay.” Aiden seemed disappointed, but he when he glanced at his clock he looked as surprised as I felt. “You should get going.” He kissed my cheek and hugged me. I was nearly through the door before I heard him calling me.  
“Wait!” he said. “Um, I mean… well… I mean… will you… WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?” he finally blurted.  
I blushed and smiled. “Thought you’d never ask.”  
AIDEN  
Ava actually ended up staying for a while longer (“Screw my parents. If they want me back they can call”), so I took her downstairs, sneaking past Ted and Chris, who were still watching that stupid tape that I would find a way to destroy later. For now, though, there was something else that I wanted to destroy.  
“Ted always keeps a Jeffmelon at my house,” I explained to Ava. “And I hate him, for, well, being a freak and hating me.”  
About a minute later, me and my amazing accomplice had a murder on our hands. We stared in silent satisfaction at the smashed watermelon that was leaking all over the floor, sneakily smiling at each other, our hands dripping with watermelon juice.  
CHRIS  
Ted and I had just finished watching the tape for the millionth time. We were laughing so hard, but all of a sudden Ted got all serious a perked up his head.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked.  
“Did you hear that?” he responded. I hesitated, but I hadn't heard anything. “Um, no.”  
“It sounded like… OH MY GOD! JEFFMELON!” Ted bolted to the kitchen, and I had no choice but to follow. Shoot, I thought. If Aiden had anything to do with this… Ted would probably murder him. I would have to be the peacemaker.  
“Ted, wait!” I started to call, but I was interrupted by a feral scream.  
Oh God, he’s done it now, I worried. Aiden’s really smashed another one of Ted’s Jeffmelons. Ted’s going to KILL him!  
I burst into the kitchen. Ted was kneeling over the poor, smashed Jeffmelon, a look of horror on his face. I never really understood it, but Ted thought of watermelons with faces on them as his sons. This was Jeffmelon the fourth (you can probably guess what happened to the other three).  
“Who did this to you?” he whispered to the watermelon. “Who would destroy such a beautifully innocent watermelon?”[r]  
I noticed that Aiden and Ava were backing up slowly, demonic smiles on their faces as they watched. Their hands were covered in fresh watermelon juice. Ted slowly lifted his view and noticed them.  
“It was YOU!” he yelled and started to chase them. They both ran, but Ava was a split-second too slow. Ted grabbed her arm. She screamed. “AIDEN!”  
“Ted, wait! Don't do it!” I exclaimed, even though I knew that it was useless.  
“Ava!” yelled Aiden, running back. “Get away from her!” He charged at Ted and pushed him away from Ava, but not before he had bitten her neck. She fell on the floor, unconscious.  
“AVA!” yelled Aiden again. “How could you do this to her, you FREAK?!” He started rushing towards Ava, but Ted grabbed his arm and bit his neck too. Aiden passed out.  
“Ted!” I yelled again. “Stop!”  
Ted actually bared his fangs and hissed at me. “THEY KILLED HIM! THEY DESERVE TO DIE!”  
I grabbed ahold of his shoulders. “Ted. Hey, it’s okay. Just calm down. There will be more Jeffmelons.” Somehow it worked. Ted stopped struggling, and we both just stared at Aiden and Ava’s unconscious bodies. Their necks were bleeding pretty badly, and now it was my turn to freak out.  
“Ted, what are we going to tell her parents!?” Ted was a lot calmer now, but obviously still had no intention of apologizing, let alone remorse.  
“Just tell them that a dog bit them,” he said indifferently. They were still bleeding a lot, though, so I said, “I think we should call an ambulance.”  
* * *  
20 minutes later we were standing over Ava and Aiden’s hospital beds in the ER department. They were both still unconscious, but at least they had stopped bleeding. The doctor (actually a skeleton, but I had seen stranger things. I mean, my best friend was a freaking vampire) came in. The name tag on the coat that he was wearing said “Chu Chu”, and he was wearing an orange bow tie. He seemed… familiar, somehow.  
“They should be able to go home as soon as they wake up,” he said. “The bite didn't rupture the windpipe, just broke the skin. How did you say it happened again?”  
I shot a look at Ted. “A dog bit them,” I responded.  
“I see. You’re the father then,” he said, gesturing towards Ted, who made a subtle face. He turned to me. “And you’re the mother.”  
Ted looked like he was about to protest, but I kicked him in the shin and whispered, “It’s the only way they’ll let us take them home.” I think that we were both blushing pretty hard at this point, but I cleared my throat and said, “Yes, that’s correct.”  
“Okay,” He responded. “Once you fill out this paperwork and they wake up, you’ll be good to go. Make sure they take it easy.”  
We filled in the papers as fast as we could. A few minutes later, Ava and Aiden woke up and we took them to my house again. Ted and I didn’t say a word the entire ride back, but as I listened to Ava and Aiden chit and chat and giggle in the backseat… well let’s just say it was wishful thinking.  
* * *  
We had only been home for a few minutes when the phone rang. I picked it up, thinking that it was Mom, but I realized that the caller ID was unfamiliar.  
“Hello?” I said.  
“Hello, this is Ava’s mother.” Shoot, I thought, and sneaked a look at the time. 8:30 pm. Shizzles, it was late.  
“I’m so sorry for keeping her for so long…” I started.  
“No problem at all. Actually, I called to ask if she could spend the night. We’ve been trying to look for a babysitter, but haven’t been able to find one willing to watch her overnight. It would be a big help.”  
I looked over to the couch, where Aiden was attempting to impress Ava by telling her about his not-so-secret racing career. Ava whispered something to him and they both went upstairs, holding hands. My face brightened. This was going to be so much fun!  
“Of course!” I said. “My friend Ted will help, too.” Ted turned to look at me questioningly from the table, where he was eating some watermelon. I smiled at him excitedly. He just turned right back to his watermelon.  
“Thank you so much,” said Ava’s mom.  
“What did you say your name was again?” I asked.  
“Bonnie.”  
“Okay, thanks. My name is Chris. I’m…”  
“Aiden’s mother, right? Chris is short for Christina?”  
I was a little bit pissed, but I kept my cool. After all, Ava’s parents would probably trust me more if they thought I was an adult, though I didn’t understand why everyone kept thinking I was a girl. In fact, it was really starting to make me question modern gender roles.[s][t]  
“Right.”  
“Thank you again, Christina. Goodbye.”  
“Bye.”  
I hung up and turned to Ted, who was still sitting at the table eating watermelon and checking his phone.  
“Guess whaaaaat?” I said.  
“What?” said Ted.  
“Guess!”  
“Just tell me, Chris.”  
“Ava is spending the night!” I announced, just quietly enough so that Aiden and Ava wouldn’t hear me - yet. “And YOU are going to help me.”  
It was hard to describe Ted’s face, especially since it was still stuffed with watermelon, but I think it was somewhere between disbelief, confusion, and disgust.  
“NO.”  
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”  
“Chris, no.”  
“Pleeease?”  
“Chris, I don’t even want to stay in the same house as a couple of twelve year olds who are in love, let alone TAKE CARE OF THEM. I am putting my foot down on this one. You’re on your own.”  
“Ted, I’ll be here to help too, won’t I? Besides, I have a feeling that those two are mostly going to keep to themselves during the night.”  
“No.”  
“Come on, best friends help each other!”  
Ted turned his head away.  
“Mr. Foofy agrees with me…” Foofy meowed in agreement from underneath the table, right on cue.  
Ted looked down and muttered something under his breath, I think it was, “I hate myself.” In any case, he finally looked up and grinned a little, probably because he saw me smiling like a maniac with Foofy on my head. “Fine, I’ll stay. But don’t expect me to come out of the guest room much.”  
“YESSS!” I let out a victory whoop so loud that it made Foofy jump off my head and Aiden yell, “Hey, keep it quiet down there!”[u]  
Oh! I still had to tell the good news to the lovebirds!  
I knocked on Aiden’s door.  
“DON’T COME IN,” I heard Aiden and Ava say in unison. The door was unlocked though, so I burst in anyways.  
“I HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS!” I exclaimed.  
“GET OUT YOU FREAK!” was their response, also in unison. Aiden jumped up from his bed, where he had been sitting with Ava and started to push me out the door.  
“Wait! I just came to say that Ava is spending the night!”  
That made them both stop dead in their tracks. Aiden turned to Ava and I saw huge smiles creep into their faces. Then Ava squealed and Aiden whooped even louder than me and they started swinging each other around. I had literally never seen Aiden this happy, so naturally I snuck a picture. No one would suspect a thing.  
“Really, Chris? You’re not kidding?” asked Aiden ecstatically.  
“Absolutely.” Then, I promise that I am not lying, Aiden gave me a hug. Voluntarily. Like, it was actually his choice. My heart melted. I would’ve liked to hug for longer, but he only hung on for a split second before running to hug Ava, for a lot longer than a split second. Oh well, I was satisfied enough. I left the two lovebirds alone, sneaking one last picture of them together. Memories.  
AVA  
Yes, this was most definitely the best day of my entire life. There was zero doubt left in my mind. Aiden was hugging me, we were swinging each other around. I had never felt so happy, ever. I was pretty sure that if someone had taken a photo of us, there would be smiley faces and heart stickers all around the pic.  
CHRIS  
As soon as I got downstairs, I started pasting smiley face and heart stickers on the photo of Aiden and Ava before posting it on the internet. Five minutes later I had 74 new followers.  
AVA  
Believe me, there was literally NO place I would’ve rather been in at that moment. Heck, if someone had offered me 10 billion dollars to not be with Aiden right then, I would’ve said “Hell no”, spat on the check, and blown up their house (let’s just say I have experience with explosives).  
In any case, this was great. I had been dreading the moment when my mom was going to call to take me back home. Now that wasn’t even happening, and there was nothing I’d rather do than spend time with Aiden.  
“Hey, you wanna do something?” Aiden said, maybe because we had been celebrating the news without saying a word for about five minutes.  
“Sure,” I replied. “What did you have in mind?”  
“Um, you like video games?”  
“HELL YEAH!” I said, because I LOVED video games. Electronics in general, actually.  
“Awesome!” said Aiden. “Because there’s this really fun game I just got. You’ll like it.”  
He took me downstairs to what he called the “gaming room” (actually just a couch and TV) and got us set up with game controllers.  
“The game is called ‘B.O.S.C.’ No idea what it stands for.”[v][w]  
“Gotcha,” I said.  
“Here’s how it works,” he started. “There are two characters that you can choose from as your avatar, so far, because those are the ones that I’ve unlocked: Martha and Beth.” I picked Beth. He picked Martha.  
“Ok, so here’s how it works,” he continued. “Together we have to choose a country in the world to target. We make a plan of attack and go after it, starting by infiltrating the government. But we have to be careful not to get caught; we’re gonna have a lot of dead bodies on our hands.” Aiden smiled that cute sneaky smile of his at that last part. I smiled back.  
“You’re right,” I said. “I already love this game.”  
* * *  
We spent a countless amount of time playing. It was amazing. And finally, after playing for hours, we blew up the whole of Madagascar. We also unlocked a new avatar: Denis.  
We were about to start a new level when Ted poked his freaky head into the room.  
“Okay, break it up,” he said. “You’re going to sleep.”  
“MAKE US,” I said defiantly. Ted’s eye’s went wide.  
“I caught you once. Do you really want me to do it a second time?”  
I really didn’t, but that’s not what I said. “What time is it? I’m allowed to stay up until midnight on weekends.”  
“Is that so?” said Ted, grinning like a freak. “Well I guess then it’s lights out for you, because it’s 1:30 a.m.” I must’ve shown a little bit of surprise, because Ted smirked triumphantly.  
“Fine,” I said coolly. “I’ll sleep in Aiden’s room.”  
“Absolutely not,” replied Ted. “Chris has a guest room.” I opened my mouth to protest again, but Aiden put his hand on my arm.  
“I’ll sleep in the guest room,” he said. Ted’s mouth opened. I would’ve liked to smirk at him, but I was a little confused.  
“Goodnight Ava, Ted,” he said, and gave me a hug. While he was doing that, he whispered: “It’s okay. I have a plan. I’ll meet you in my room.” He gave me a little wink and my heart jumped.  
“Good night,” I said, and started walking towards Aiden’s room. Ted was still pretty confused, but he shook his head and laid down on the couch. A few seconds later later he started to snore.AIDEN  
Of course I had a plan! I wasn’t going to let Ava sleep all alone in the cold guest room, or even alone in mine, so a plan was in order and I had a moment of genius.  
I quietly ran into the guest room and locked the door from the inside, then broke the handle. I jumped out the window and went around the house (it was freezing outside), then used my key to get back inside.  
Applauding myself, I crept up the stairs to get to my room… and ran right into Chris.  
“Aiden! Are you going to bed? Where’s Ava?”  
I didn’t know what else to say, except the truth: “The guest room door is broken, so she’s going to sleep in my room.”  
Chris raised his eyebrow a little, but he let it go. “Okay then. Good night. I’m going to turn in too. By the way, where’s Ted?”  
“Beats me,” I said, dashing into my room and closing the door.  
Ava was sitting on my bed, but her head perked up and she gave me a sweet smile when she saw me come in.  
“Lock the door,” she said. “And after that, you can tell me about your brilliant plan.”  
I did as she commanded. Then I changed into my pjs and she took off her dress (she had a black tank top underneath and she kept her leggings), and we snuggled into bed, talking to each other quietly until we both fell asleep at around 3 a.m.  
TED  
“Good morning kids!”  
It was Chris’s voice that woke me up, but I didn’t think he was talking to me, because I’m a year older than him and you don’t refer to me in plural.  
I had slept in the couch all night, since Ava was taking up the guest room. I had argued for it at first, but then Chris said,  
“She’s our guest!”  
“I’M your guest too!” I countered. “I don’t live here!”  
“Well, you practically live here. Besides, my house, my rules.” Chris won the argument. Jesus, what was it with me losing to Chris lately?  
Anyway, I rolled over, just in time to see Ava and Aiden, holding hands, coming down the stairs together.  
Those little sneaks! Aiden had conned me into thinking that he was actually going to sleep in the guest room. Damn, I should’ve known better, I chided myself. I had the authority! I guess that I had been too tired to question it last night. Actually, the thing that pissed me off the most wasn’t the fact that they got to sleep together; it was the fact that I could’ve slept in a comfortable bed instead of a tiny couch. Those little assholes.  
“How’d you sleep?” asked Chris, looking at Ava.  
She looked at Aiden. “Really well.”  
“Awful,” I muttered under my breath, which was true.  
“That’s good,” said Chris. “In any case, happy Saturday! I’m going to make breakfast. How about some pancakes?”  
“How about some french crepes?” countered Ava. Chris looked confused.  
“Um, I actually don’t even know what those are.”  
“Well that’s what the internet is for, Chris,” said Aiden, like he was the one who was five years older. “Better get cooking.”  
“Aiden, I don’t want to mess up the dish.”  
“Chris, do it for Ava. She’s our guest; she deserves a special breakfast.”  
I couldn’t resist smiling at that, because it was the same argument Chris had used on me over the guest room.  
“Okay, I guess I’ll give it a shot,” he said, unsure.  
I just rolled over and forced myself back to sleep.  
* * *  
Once again, I was woken by Chris’s voice: “Done!”  
“About time,” whined Aiden’s voice. “You’ve been cooking for two and a half hours! We’re HUNGRY!”  
“Okay, okay, just relax. Here.”  
I got up and walked into the kitchen, where there was a huge mess; probably the result of cooking for two and a half hours. Chris was serving crepes to Ava and Aiden. They sure smelled good, but the real test would come with the way they tasted.  
Chris noticed me. “Good morning Ted! How’d you sleep?”  
“Awful,” I said, this time audibly. Ava and Aiden started to snicker, but I gave them a death stare and they shut their little mouths. Chris didn’t even bat an eye.  
“Well sit down then. I made one for you, too.”  
“What time is it?” I asked.  
“It’s only 11:30.”  
My jaw dropped. “Shit, Chris! We have to be at work by 12!”  
“So call in sick.”  
“And spend time with them?” I gestured to Ava and Aiden, who gave me dirty looks. “No way.”  
“Okay, well have it your way. I already said I wasn’t going to be there.”  
“I have to go get ready!” I said, pulling my shoes on and dashing out of the house. “Good luck Chris!” I called. “You’re gonna need it!”  
AIDEN  
“What’s his problem?” asked Ava.  
“Everything,” I said, and she snickered.  
“So, Chris, tell me about the crepes,” I commanded.  
“Um, I think you’ll have to find out for yourself,” was his only response. He looked pretty nervous. Probably because he knew he was trying to impress a tough crowd. No mercy. No pity. Just because he had been cooking for two and a half hours didn’t mean that we were going to like the food.  
Let me just state for the record that Chris was actually an okay cook. He would bake all the cakes for everyone’s birthdays (including Foofy’s), and he would regularly make dinner. But those were dishes that he knew how to make. He didn’t even know what the hell a crepe was until two and a half hours ago. So chances were, he wasn’t going to do so well on this one.  
“Dig in,” he said.  
We did. Me and Ava stuck a bite of the crepe in our mouths, and chewed slowly. I made a face. I just couldn’t believe it.  
“Chris…” I started. He shut his eyes.  
“I don’t believe it,” said Ava. “It’s actually…”  
“AMAZING!” we said in unison, and shoveled the rest of the crepe down. Chris sighed with relief and stood there looking all full of himself.  
“Don’t get a big head,” I reminded him. “The rest of your food is still mediocre. But… can we split Ted’s crepe?”  
“Of course.” Chris made an even split through Ted’s meal, and we ate that too, in record time.  
TED  
As usual, work was boring and mundane. But even more so when Chris wasn’t here. I started wishing that Nick would show up, because this was my chance in a million where we could actually talk without Chris dragging me away or shoving a mop in Nick’s face.  
He didn’t come, though, so I was forced to combat boredom and depression throughout the hours that I was there. Cherry, my boss, definitely wasn’t making it any easier.  
“Make sure you clean out every blender you use right after you use it. Don’t put it on high! Always medium. That customer said you took too long. If I have to worry about your quality of work…”  
I wanted to tell her to shut up, but that would probably get me fired, so I just bit my tongue and looked at the clock for hope.  
Finally, my shift was over and I could go home. I certainly wasn’t spending another day at Chris’s house, but I figured that I could check in on him. After all, Ava’s parents had probably come for her already anyway.  
“Chris,” I started, walking through the door, which was wide open. “Don’t ever miss…” Then I realized what was going on. Or rather, what wasn’t going on. The house was completely silent. No footsteps, no laughter, no talking. It was like a scene from those weird “Twilight Zone” movies that my dad would make me watch as a kid. I was starting to get creeped out, so I called again.  
“Chris!” I waited. No response.  
Then I walked into the kitchen. And believe me, I will never forget that moment for as long as I live.  
The floor was covered in blood. Fresh blood. Aiden and Ava were collapsed on the floor, blood seeping from several wounds all over their bodies. Chris, the only one who was intact, at least on the outside, was huddled in a corner, eyes wide open, breathing hard, rocking himself back and forth, over and over again.  
I suppose I could’ve shown more immediate concern, but in that moment all I could think was, I leave for four hours…  
“Chris! What happened?”  
Chris didn’t even look up, so I put my hands on his shoulders.  
“Chris. What happened?” I repeated. He finally noticed my presence, but all he did was start mumbling in some unknown language.  
“Hey! Snap out of it, Chris!” I started to shake him and finally the haze in his eyes faded away.  
“M-M-Michael… he came in. Said… said he was looking for you. I told him you were w-working.” Chris took a shaky breath. “Then he attacked the kids.”  
“Wait, my dad? Did he touch you?” I asked.  
He finally looked me in the eyes. “N-no, but… he took Foofy, Ted! What are we going to do?” He was near tears, now.  
“Wait… YOU’RE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR CAT THAN YOUR LITTLE BROTHER!?”  
“Foofy gives me reason to live,” said Chris, still in shock. “And Aiden wasn’t the one who was catnapped.”  
“FOOFY ISN’T THE ONE LEAKING BLOOD ALL OVER THE FLOOR![x]”  
“Ted, we have to get Foofy back.”  
I took a deep breath. Chris really needed to get his priorities straight. “We’ll get Foofy back… but I think we need to take care of what’s in front of us right now.”  
That’s when I noticed that neither Ava nor Aiden were bleeding anymore. Could they possibly have healed that fast? In any case, they were still out cold, and I was pretty sure that losing that much blood wasn’t healthy. [y][z]Then Aiden sat up suddenly. No, he didn’t care that he was sitting in a pool of his own blood. He went straight towards Ava.  
“AVA! Oh my God Ava, are you okay?”  
I’m not sure what he was expecting, considering the fact that Ava was still unconscious, but he kept asking dumb questions.  
“What happened to you? Who would hurt you?” Then he finally noticed the blood surrounding him. He actually screamed. “Ava! We need to get help!” He leaned down and put his head on hers. He screamed again. “She’s not breathing!” he yelled out to no one in particular. I felt tempted to go make some popcorn again but decided this wasn’t the right time.  
“Ava, wake up,” he whispered. “Please wake up.” Tears were running down his face, and even I was alarmed.  
What if Ava actually never woke up? Aiden was crying now. Chris and I just looked on.  
“Ava, please be okay. Please wake up,” he kept saying over and over again. “I love you, Ava. I love you. Please, Ava. Please wake up.”  
Even Chris was starting to tear up. Aiden was sobbing hysterically.  
“I didn’t even know you for that long, Ava. But it was the best two days of my life, because I was spending them with you.” Ava’s body was as still as stone. The whole house was, except for Aiden, was quiet.  
“I love you with my life Ava.”  
I’m not sure if what happened next was a coincidence or not, but the moment that Aiden uttered those words, Ava bolted up, gasping for air.  
“AVA!” exclaimed Aiden, wiping the tears from his eyes and pulling her in. “You’re alive! Oh my God, Ava, I was so worried.”  
“Aiden?” Ava seemed confused. “What’s going on?”  
“You weren’t breathing! I thought I had lost you! Do you think you’re okay now?”  
“A lot better since you’re here,” said Ava, and kissed Aiden.  
Once again, I’m not sure if it was a coincidence, but Aiden suddenly went as white as a sheet and collapsed back onto the bloody floor.  
CHRIS  
This was already spiraling out of control, and the ideal day that I had imagined was now in the toilet, basically. But when Aiden collapsed back on the floor, I realized that I had to put Foofy aside for now, because something was definitely wrong with this current scenario.  
Ava’s eyes went wide. “Aiden?” When he didn’t respond, she started to panic, trying to shake him awake. “Aiden!”  
I think it took that much for me to come to my senses, the notion that something was wrong with Aiden. I jumped up and ran to his side, pressing my head to his chest. Ava didn’t say anything, just waited anxiously for a verdict. I moved my head away slowly. Not saying anything, I could feel tears falling from my eyes. This couldn’t be happening.  
“What is it? What happened? What’s wrong, Chris? CHRIS! WHAT’S WRONG WITH AIDEN!?” Ava was in hysterics but I just shook my head. I had lost all knowledge of words.  
“AIDEN! No, no, no, Aiden, please wake up!”  
I understood that they were in love, but I couldn’t imagine her feeling worse than me. What was two days to twelve years? Nothing! We were brothers; we had been there with each other through thick and thin and everything in between. And even though Aiden was always cranky and judgemental and called everyone he met a freak, I loved him with all I had.  
“Aiden, please. Wake up Aiden, please. You can’t be… you can’t be…” Ava lost it. She started to sob, laying her head down on his chest.  
I lost it too. I just put my head in my hands and cried, because deep down I knew that Aiden really was gone.  
I’m not really sure how much time passed, but when I lifted my head I saw that even Ted’s eyes were wet.  
“Ted,” I whispered hoarsely. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”  
Ted looked at me, and it was as if I could see the gears turning in his head. All of a sudden his eyes lit up. I was confused, but too crushed to ask why. Wait… did I just see the beginning of a smile on Ted’s face?  
“I’m not one hundred percent sure, man, but I think we should wait. I think it’ll be okay.”  
I didn’t say anything. Ted knew something that I didn’t, though. I wasn’t sure what, but I felt a glimmer of hope.  
BAM! Ted’s weird realization or whatever it was turned out to be right; because a second later, Aiden sat up, gasping, but 100% alive. Ted winked at me, mouthing, I told you.  
I was too shocked to react at first, but Ava shrieked and hugged Aiden.  
“Not… so tight…” he gasped. Ava loosened her grip.  
“I’m sorry. But I thought you were… I’m so happy you’re okay, Aiden! You have no idea how scared I was.”  
“I might,” he said.  
“How do you feel?”  
“Like puking,” said Aiden, but I could see the color returning to his face. Finally I snapped out of my stupor.  
I jumped up and gave him a hug, the hardest one I had ever given anyone.  
“Chris…!” he said, kind of annoyed. “Lemme go!” I did, not because I wanted to, but because all of a sudden I felt exhausted. My head started spinning, and the floor rushed up to my face very, very quickly.  
AIDEN  
After what happened to Ava and I, I didn’t think that the day could get any worse. I thought that we were done with the whole dying-and-coming-back-to-life thing. I was wrong.  
I was pretty sure that Chris was going to be okay, but there was a seed of doubt in the back of my head. What if Chris actually never woke up?  
Those kinds of thoughts scared me, so I crawled over to Chris. “Hey. Chris. Hey Chris, wake up.” I didn’t think that anything was actually going to happen, and sure enough, Chris didn’t react. I turned to Ted, who seemed to know about the issue more than he was letting on. I decided to question him about that later, though.  
“Hey, Ted? Chris is going to be okay, right?”  
Ted hesitated, which really didn’t help my nerves any. “Sure, Aiden. Just give him some time.”  
I looked towards Ava, who still seemed pretty shaken.  
“It’ll be okay,” I promised her.  
“I know,” she said, and kissed my forehead. The door must’ve been left open, because a chilly breeze started blowing out in. Ava shivered, and I realized that she was still only wearing a tank top and some thin leggings.  
“Oh, hold on,” I said, and dashed upstairs to grab a hoodie (one of the many I owned).  
“Here,” said, giving it to Ava. “It might be a little big, but it’s pretty warm.”  
“Thanks,” she replied, putting it on. “You’re such a sweetheart.” She kissed my cheek, and I put my arm around her. We sat in silence for a few minutes.  
“Ted?” said Ava, breaking the silence.  
“Hmmm?”  
“You knew that Aiden was going to be okay.” She said it like statement, not a question.  
“Yeah. I knew because… well, I think that it’ll be better if I explain it if, I mean when, Chris wakes up.”  
I felt a little panicky at that if. Ted must’ve at least had an idea of what was going on… but it was pretty clear that he wasn’t so sure about Chris. I had a feeling that he was quite a bit more worried than he was letting on.  
We waited some more.  
Me and Ava were huddled together in silence. A while later, Ted took a look at his watch, and his eyebrows jumped up.  
“Oh shit. This can’t be good.”  
I turned to look at him. “What? Ted, what’s wrong?” I’ll admit that I was actually starting to freak out a little.  
Ted got up and put his head on Chris’s chest. He cursed.  
“Ted. What’s wrong!?” I was more than a little bit panicked by now, and Ted’s hesitation wasn’t helping things.  
“Well… see… it’s been a while and… people can’t survive without a heartbeat for longer than…” Ted didn’t finish his sentence. He had said enough.  
“NO! Ted, Chris is going to be okay, right?” He refused to meet my eyes, but he bit his lip and looked down.  
“No, no, no, no, no. Chris, no. Chris, please. Please be okay.” I started to cry. Ava gently held my hand, and I hugged her and sobbed. “This isn’t happening,” I told myself. “It can’t be.”  
Ted looked away, but I could see tears falling from his eyes.  
“I… I never got to tell him that… he really was a freak.” I knelt by Chris’s body and cried on him. “The best freak that I ever met.”  
Ava started to tear up, too. We cried together, we cried for each other. That’s the kind of person she really was. I knew that whatever happened, I had her support.  
Ted had his head in his hands. He cried quietly, but his whole body was shaking.  
Waves of grief rolled over me, hitting me hard, so hard that I could barely breathe. I put my head in Chris’s chest, and felt Ava’s arm around me. I cried myself to sleep, Ava stroking my hair.  
* * *  
When I woke up, I wasn’t on Chris’s body anymore. I wasn’t even on the floor. I was in my bed, Ava sleeping peacefully next to me.  
Her eyes flickered open. “Aiden…?” She sat up, and I sat up, and I felt myself shake when I realized what had happened. She hugged me.  
I felt kind of dead, because there was a part of me that felt like it was missing, because… well, Chris…  
I fought back tears. It really was sinking in, the fact that I didn’t have an older brother anymore. It really was true. I hated it, but… it really was true. I was definitely crying now.  
“Oh, sweetie…” said Ava, pulling me in close. It was really nice, just knowing that I had her there with me. She could make me feel better no matter what.  
We just stayed there for a while, crying together. Finally we wiped each other’s tears. Ava tried to smile for me.  
“We should go downstairs,” she said.  
“Yeah, I guess so,” I responded. “Ted’s probably still here.”  
I shuddered at the thought of seeing Chris’s lifeless body. I wondered how Ted was doing. I mean, they had known eachother for a while. Not as long as me, but...  
I took a deep breath to try to quiet the panic attack that I was about to have. Gripping Ava’s hand tight, I trudged downstairs, my heart jackhammering and tears rolling down my face.  
And then I walk into the kitchen. And then I charge towards Chris, who was standing up and cleaning the mess he had made for breakfast, and I tackle him with a bear hug.  
“Whoa!” he said, stumbling. Ava steadied him and hugged him too. “Aiden! Ava! Sorry, we didn’t want to wake you. You two seemed pretty worn out, and you were sleeping so soundly.”  
“I hate you,” I said. “For making me think you were dead, freak.” I hugged him harder.  
Ava said, “I second that.”  
“I know, I know.” We just hugged for a little bit. I really hope this doesn’t go on my permanent record, but I have to say that it was one of the best hugs I had ever had.  
“But seriously, what the heck?” I said, breaking apart from Chris. “Chris, you didn’t have a freaking heartbeat. Even Ted thought you were gone. And he seemed to kind of know what was happening.”  
“Well, I’m not so sure what happened, exactly. But I woke up a little after you fell asleep, and then Ted hugged me and scolded the heck out of me for scaring him half to death. But you and Ava were pretty much out cold, so we let you sleep.”  
“I also hate you,” I started, “for not waking us up sooner.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
Then Ted walked in and joined the group hug. We were like a family. I chided myself for having such cheesy thoughts, and then I turned to Ted.  
“HEY! TED! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!”  
“Whoa, Jesus, slow your roll, Aiden.” I stared him down, and then Ava continued for me. “Ted, you knew that me and Aiden were going to be okay, but Chris… I mean, what happened, exactly?”  
Ted looked at Ava like she was an idiot, which made me want to punch him, but I also wanted to hear his explanation, so I restrained myself.  
“Wait, none of you even have a clue about what’s going on?”  
“NO!” we all shouted, exasperated.  
“Oh. Okay, well, in that case… Umm, remember when I bit you?” Ted asked me and Ava awkwardly.  
“Yes. All too well,” said Ava.  
“And you know how I’m a vampire?”  
“Yes,” said me and Chris. Ava’s mouth dropped.  
“Wait, Ted’s a freaking vampire?” she said in disbelief.  
“Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you?” I said.  
“NO!”  
“Oh. Well, yeah, my brother’s best friend is a vampire. But what does that have to do with… oh. I am stupid.”  
“No you’re not,” chided Ava. “I am. Because I still have no idea what the hell is going on. Ow!”  
“Ava, are you okay?” I asked, concerned. “OW!”  
“Something just pricked my tongue!” said Ava.  
“Me too,” I said. Ted was just giving us a knowing look.  
“Oh, shit,” said Ava, sensing Ted’s reaction, her eyes going wide. “We’re vampires.” She opened her mouth. “Do I have fangs?”  
“Um, yes…”  
“Oh my God, you do too!” she shouted. “Hey, we’re vampires! Woo-hoo, this is awesome!” Ava grabbed my hand. “Wait… Why am I celebrating?”  
“I don’t know, but it is pretty cool.” I had to admit, it was pretty exciting. Oh man, what was Mom going to say?  
“So yeah, I think that that’s part of the process. You ‘die’,” continued Ted, using air quotes. “It’s like you’re petrified.”  
“Wait, back it up,” said Chris. “What about me? Your dad didn’t touch me, and I don’t think that you’ve ever bitten me…”  
“Well, I actually have no idea what happened to you,” said Ted. “I actually thought you were dead, bro. Maybe it was just shock or something.”  
“Oh.”  
Maybe it was just me, but I think that Chris was kind of disappointed to be the only one here who wasn’t a vampire. I was about to start rubbing it in his face, but then the phone rang and he picked up.  
“Hello? Oh, hi again. Did you want her back? You’re not… Oh. I see. Mm-hmm. Oh my, I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Oh, okay. Yes, I think so. Of course, we understand. Did you want to talk to… okay. One week. Well, thank you. Best of luck.”  
Chris hung up, and turned around. He looked a little nervous.  
“Who was it?” I asked.  
“Ummm… well, I have good news and bad news.” We looked at him expectantly. “Well, see, the good news is that Ava will be staying a lot longer.”  
Ava and I hugged and cheered but a second later Ava broke away, looking kind of worried. “Chris… that was my mom, wasn’t it? What did she say? Why isn’t she going to pick me up?”  
Chris kind of awkwardly looked away. “Ummm… the bad news is that Ava is going to be staying here because… we’re going to adopt her. Her parents are going to… um, they’re going to die soon. Something about them being in a program that the government tried to shut down… they were recently captured… I’m so sorry, Ava.”  
Ava’s eyes went wide again and I could see tears forming in her eyes. I rushed to her side and hugged her tight. She started to cry.  
I tried to comfort her. “They loved you. And you know they would’ve come for you... if they weren’t…”  
“Dead?” supplied Ted.  
I gave him a death stare. “Ted, you better shut that dumbass mouth of yours or I’ll do it for you.” I turned back to Ava. “I love you, Ava.”  
“I love you too,” she said. “But that’s not what I’m crying about. I hated my parents. They would abuse me. They would hit me if I got and A on an assignment. They wanted an A+. Also they would never pay attention to me. I’m crying because of everything that I left in my house. I’ll never be able to come back for them. My clothes, my electronics…”  
Chris looked kind of weirded out, but he said, “Um, okay… well your mom said that she sent all of that over here… it should arrive in about a week, so don’t worry about it.”  
“Oh. Then I’m fine,” she said, and kissed me.  
All I was thinking was, My God, she’s perfect.  
“Sooo… Ava! I would love for you to stay here,” continued Chris, looking like he meant the opposite of what he said, “but we don’t have a lot of space, and my mom already complains about me and Aiden being a handful. So you’re going to live in Ted’s house!”  
Ted just gave Chris a look that said, You’re just fucking with me, right?[aa]  
“No. Chris, you can’t be serious.”  
“I am never serious,” said Chris. “But from now on you are Ava’s adoptive dad.”  
“NO. FUCKING. WAY.”  
“I already promised Ava’s mother that you would look after her.”  
“I didn’t hear my name in the conversation!”  
“Well I implied it.”  
“Chris, I’m only eighteen.”  
“Street legal! Legally an adult. That means you’re also legally able to adopt a child; unlike me. I’m seventeen, which means that you’re the only one here who can adopt Ava. So, yeah, you are now legally Ava’s father. Congratulations!”  
“Fuck you, Chris.”  
“Thank you.”  
“One day I am going to kill myself.”  
“And when that day comes, I’ll be there to stop you.”  
* * *  
Ten minutes later, we were all at Ted’s house, helping Ava get acquainted with her new room.  
“I have three guest rooms,” explained Ted. “I don’t care which one you choose, as long as it’s the one farthest from my room.”  
“Wow, you really are a great father, Ted,” Ava cracked.  
“That’s ‘dad’ to you, little missy. Don’t go around getting a smart mouth,” retorted Ted.  
“Okay, fine,” said Ava. “Ted.” I smirked. Ted looked like he was about to smack Ava’s face, and I was getting ready to defend her, but Chris stepped in.  
“OKAY,” he cut in. “So, Ava! How do you like your new room?”  
“I want to sleep in Aiden’s house,” she whined  
“Ava, our house is too small for someone else to move in permanently,” explained Chris. “You’ll have a lot more room here.”  
“Fine,” she said. “Hey Ted, can Aiden sleep over?”  
“It’s ‘DAD’, and no way. In fact, they should be leaving now,” replied Ted, starting to push me towards the door.  
“Get your freaky hands off of me!” I shouted, and punched him in the stomach. Ted doubled over.  
“You little… WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I’LL…” Ted never got to finish his sentence, because in that moment the phone rang, and Ted practically dived for it.  
“If it’s Ava’s mom, I want to tell her that she can TAKE HER BACK.” TED  
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Ava’s mom calling to ask for her back. It was my dad. I really didn’t want to talk to him right now, but he seemed in a pretty urgent mood.  
“What do you want?” I asked, just eager to finish the conversation.  
“Um, Ted… I hate to be a bother...”  
“Just get to the point, Michael.”  
“Hey!” I heard Ava say in the background. “How come you get to call your dad by his first name?”  
I covered the phone with my hand and stared Ava down. “Because I’m six years older than you, little missy.”  
“Stop calling me that!”  
I was about to snap something clever back at her, but my dad kept talking. “Ted… I, um… I need your help hiding a body.”  
I made a face, but of course he couldn’t see that, so I just said, “Oh, HELL, no!”  
“Ted, please…”  
“No way in HECK am I going to help you! First, you come in and bite Aiden and my daughter and take Foofy, scaring Chris literally half to death, and now you’re asking for my help to hide a freaking body?”  
“Wait, your daughter? Ted, just let me explain…”  
“You’ve said enough. Good bye,” I said, slamming down the phone. I turned around and everyone was staring at me. “What?’ I started to say, but then the phone rang again.  
“Hello.”  
“Ted, I really need your help.”  
“No! You can go to wherever you bloody came from and leave me alone!” I slammed the phone down again. It rang again. I put it on silent.  
“Well, you two seem a little tense… Guess your relationship really sucks, huh?” cracked Aiden. Ava rolled her eyes, but laughed.  
“Shut your trap, Aiden,” I snapped.  
* * *  
Ava and Aiden were sitting in the kitchen table, chatting, but I decided to let them be. I just really wanted to relax and have some time to myself, so I watched TV on the couch while Chris was busy pacing and making a plan to rescue Foofy.  
“Ted, why didn’t you let me talk to him?” he said. “I could’ve tried to convince him to bring Foofy back!”  
“Chill out, while ya?” I said. “It’s not like he’s going to suck Foofy’s blood. My dad only drinks human blood.” I didn’t think I really helped Chris’s nerves, because a shiver ran down his spine the moment I mentioned blood.  
“I’m just worried about him,” said Chris. “Out there, all alone in the cold… I miss him so much!”  
“Seriously, Chris? It’s been like, half a day!”  
“So much happened in that little window of time…” reflected Chris. “I wonder if Foofy misses us.”  
“I wonder when you’ll ever grow up,” I muttered under my breath.  
That’s when the door opened. It was my dad.  
Aw, shit, I thought. What a perfectly good way to ruin my evening.  
* * *  
CHRIS  
From the moment that Michael opened the door, I decided that I wasn’t going to interfere. I knew that Michael loved his son, possibly more than Ted would ever know, but Ted never really… well their relationship was pretty rocky.  
“Hello again, Ted,” said Michael, coming in holding a pitchfork.  
Ted gave his dad a dirty look. “Why are you here?”  
“Why, this is my house,” said Michael. “And I came to say hello, in person, to my only son.”  
“Does it look like I’m in the mood for banter right now?”  
I took a peek at where Ava and Aiden were staring. “Hey Ava,” whispered Aiden. “Want some popcorn?”  
“There’s always a mood for father-son bonding,” responded Michael. “Now come here.” Michael started walking towards Ted, still holding a pitchfork.  
Before Ted had time to react, Michael hugged him - and stabbed him with a pitchfork. It made a horrible sound. I gasped.  
It took a moment for Ted to register what was going on, but his mouth opened wide as he looked down to the stab wound in his chest. He screamed.  
Michael looked horrified. “Oh no! What have I done?”  
Ted fell to his knees. “I see… how it is…” he spat at his father. “You come here… to kill me. Because deep down... I never… really mattered to you…”  
“No, no!” cried Michael. “This was an accident!” But blood started pooling on the floor and Michael got a weird expression. “Hmmm… I’m rather… hungry…”  
“You just… wanted to hurt me… you hurt my friends… and now you’re eating your only son… and leaving me to DIE… I HATE YOU… You never… really… cared…”[ab] Ted fell face down on the floor. I just watched in, stunned, as a dark pool extended from underneath him.  
“My son!” cried Michael, rushing to Ted’s side.  
“No, no, no…” I whispered to myself. “This is not happening. Please, this isn’t happening.”  
“Ted!” Michael started to sob. I ran to Ted’s side.  
“Ted!” I shouted desperately. “This isn’t really happening, right? This is just one of your jokes!” I felt hot tears falling down my face as I tried to convince myself that I was dreaming. Michael was weeping over Ted’s still body.  
“Ted, you’re just joking, right?” I tried again. “RIGHT?”  
“Idiots,” muttered Aiden. I whipped my head around.  
“EXCUSE ME?”  
“You can only kill a vampire with garlic, holy water, and a wooden pitchfork!” said Aiden, sounding exasperated. “Come on!”  
I was just too shocked. I grabbed the bloody weapon that was lying a few feet away. “This… THIS IS A PITCHFORK!” I threw it down next to Ted’s body. I saw all the color drain from Aiden’s face.  
“Oh.” Tears started forming in his eyes. I sobbed into my hands. My heart was actually hurting.  
Aiden was crying, Ava hugging him. “I… I never got to tell him that… I really did love him like a brother…” Tears fell from his eyes. I was weeping.  
“Ted, please. Please tell me that this is a joke.” I shut my eyes so tight that it was a miracle that any tears escaped at all.  
“My son…” sobbed Michael. He lifted Ted’s body and hugged it. And suddenly fell over. Ted got up, holding the bloody pitchfork, a hard stare in his eyes.  
“Like father, like son.”[ac]  
* * *  
“He’ll be fine,” said Ted. We all just gaped, completely and utterly stunned. Possibly because blood was still pouring out from Ted’s chest. “I’ll be fine, too. That wasn’t a wooden pitchfork. It was made out of stone, just painted brown,” he said, as if that was all the explanation that we needed. Ted took his father’s body and threw it outside. Then he lay down on the couch and took a nap.[ad]  
TED  
I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing, and of pots and pans banging in the kitchen. I was too lazy to get up, so I called for Chris.  
“Chris!” I yelled. “Can you get the phone?”  
“NOPE!” responded Chris, yelling from the kitchen. “I’m trying to make sure your daughter and my brother don’t burn down the kitchen.” That was pretty believable. “Stop it with the knives! No, you can’t play catch with them!” I heard a second later.  
The phone was still ringing, so I got up to answer.  
“Hello?” I said lazily.  
“Bring me the girl,” said a breathy voice on the other end. It sounded like… Okay Ted. Time to put your improv skills to the test.  
“You know the one,” said the voice.  
I cleared my throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“The girl,” said the voice.  
“Sir, I don’t know what you are talking about.”  
“You’re name is Tedrick. You just adopted a young girl named Ava, your best friend likes cats and he has a brother who is dating your daughter.”  
Oh shit, I thought. He knows.  
“Sir, my name is Steven. I am, as of now 41 years old,” I lied. “I am married and have four beautiful children named Felicia, Katherine, Christopher, and Jacob. My wife’s name is Christina…” I saw Aiden nudge Chris out of the corner of my eye and Chris blushed a little. “...and we live in the suburbs of Liverpool.”[ae][af]  
“You’re not Ted, the one with the weird watermelon obsession?” asked the voice, sounding confused.  
I resisted the urge to start yelling at him. “No, sir. I have never heard this name in my life.”  
“Oh. I must’ve had the wrong number.”  
“Happens to all of us.”  
“Well, goodbye Steven. I suggest you don’t call this number if you value your life.” Then he hung up. I blocked the number.  
“Um, what was that?” asked Aiden, holding a knife the wrong way.  
“Just some idot who thought he could get information from me.”  
“It’s IDIOT, Ted!”  
“Shut up,” I said, then walked over and plucked the knife from his hand.CHRIS  
Aiden looked indignant, which really wasn’t good, considering that his girlfriend was holding a knife at ready. “Ted, I don’t mean to offend you or anything, but…” he started to walk over to the counter for some reason. If somebody had drawn me and Ted right now we would’ve had question marks over our heads. I looked at Ava. She looked like she was suppressing a smile.  
It dawned on me too late.  
Aiden grabbed the nearest Jeffmelon and dropped it on the floor. Ava howled with laughter, running over to Aiden and helping him smash the rest.  
“Hey! Stop that!” I said, because Ted had already had a pretty rough day and it didn’t seem fair.  
They didn’t stop.  
Ted looked horrified, but he didn’t move, which actually worried me more than if he had been freaking out. He just kept staring at the bloody murder that was happening in front of him. Finally, he spoke.  
“Out. Now.”  
Ted’s voice was dangerously low. Ava and Aiden didn’t even look up. They just kept stepping in the watermelon mush.  
“I said, get out of my house,” Ted repeated. His eyes were covered by his bangs.  
Ava and Aiden looked up, still laughing, but then they saw the look on Ted’s face and they got quiet.  
“Um, guys, I think we should go now.” I did my best to try to get them out of the kitchen, but Aiden squirmed out of my grip. He stuck his tongue out at me and then… well I’m not sure if he was feeling suicidal or if he was just being stupid, but he looked Ted right in the eyes and said,  
“Make me.”  
Ted snapped.  
“Get the FUCK out of my house you little ASS!” he screamed.  
“Whoa, Ted, chill,” I said, realizing too late that it probably wasn’t the right time. Ted turned to me.  
“SHUT UP, CHRIS! OUT! NOW! YOU BROUGHT THEM OVER HERE, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!”  
I shut my mouth. Ava looked like she was about to say something, but Ted grabbed the pitchfork and pointed it right at her chest.  
“Try me, bitch.”[ag]  
“HEY! DON’T TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT!” yelled Aiden.  
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” screamed Ted. “NOW!”  
“Ted, please…” I tried again.  
Ted looked at me. I had never seen him look at me like that. He literally threw me out the door.  
“YOU’RE ALL WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT!” he yelled.  
Even Aiden looked intimidated. He grabbed Ava’s hand and they started walking quickly to my house.  
I tried one last time. “Ted, I’m sorry. I…”  
“SHUT YOUR TRAP, CHRIS! I HOPE THAT FOOFY DIES IN A HOLE!”  
Well that did it.  
I turned and walked right back to my house, before Ted got a chance to see the tears in my eyes.

* * *  
I never thought that my best friend would ever hurt me, but I was wrong. I spent the next hour or so staring at the ceiling in my room. Then the phone rang. I really was not in the mood, but I picked up anyway.  
“What?” I muttered. Rude, I know, but I didn’t think I was capable of being polite right then.  
“If you ever want to see your cat again, you’ll do exactly as I say…”  
I hung up. Then I realized how stupid I was. I picked the phone up again with the hope that whoever was on the other side would pick up again, but the line had gone dead.  
I cursed myself and started sobbing into my pillow. I had just blown my chance to ever see Foofy again! What was I supposed to do now? I actually started to punch in Ted’s number when I remembered that Ted was dead to me now.  
Then I fell asleep, hoping with all of my heart that the whole day had just been a dream. When I wake up, everything will be all right...  
* * *  
Turns out that everything was not at all right when I woke up. The doorbell was ringing. I had come to realize that when somebody rang your doorbell it was seldom ever good.  
“Aiden, can you open the door?” I called out. I looked at the clock. 5:30 am. Who the hell in their right mind would ring the doorbell at 5 in the morning? I shuffled to Aiden’s bedroom, but the door was locked and I could hear someone snoring.  
I really didn’t want to look at anyone right now. I didn’t even think I could look at myself. But that ringing was really driving me crazy, so I shuffled downstairs and opened the door.  
There was no one there.  
“Assholes,” I muttered. I was about to shut the door, but then I realized that there was a box with my name written in bold letters on the doormat. I leaned down to take a closer look. There, in the bottom left corner was written, “From Michael - you were warned.”  
My stomach turned. He’s killed Foofy, I thought. Foofy’s dead body is inside that box.  
I was too stunned to cry. If my amazing cat was taken from me… well he was the only friend I had left.  
I took a deep breath. I wanted to give Foofy a proper burial, and I needed to open the box for that. I hugged the box, which even retained Foofy’s aroma, and cried. I HATED THIS SO MUCH! Why the hell did I have to lose everything in such a short amount of time? I lost my best friend, I lost my cat - my beautiful Foofy. The universe was toying with me. It had decided that it was not going to be kind. Heck, I had even lost the only brother I had to his first girlfriend. I just cried for a little bit. It felt good, but not good enough.  
Finally, I gathered my courage and flipped the box open and shrieked.  
It was full of f-f-f...fish. My heart was pounding so hard, it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. Screw Michael. He had made me believe that my cat was actually freaking dead.  
I noticed for the first time that there was a folded note taped to the wall of the box. I opened it. Here’s what it said:  
Dear Chris, I did tell you that I have some demands. I will be willing to give Foofy back if you follow through with my requests. I want you to bring me Ted, alive, to the alley two streets behind our house. I will be waiting. Remember, Foofy’s survival depends on you. Love, Michael.  
I wondered in the back of my head why Michael wanted Ted. To apologize? To scold him? To hurt him? I felt a little concerned, but then I remembered what he said about Foofy. I felt my face harden. I knew what I had to do.  
* * *  
“Chris! Let me go!” cried Ted.  
I had tied him to a chair, arms and legs bound together. I had dragged him all the way over to the back alley. I hadn’t said a word the whole way here. My face was locked with an expression of determination.[ah][ai]  
Sure enough, Michael was waiting. Ted laid his eyes on him and let out a yelp of surprise.  
“Ah, I see you came to your senses,” he said. “Thank you.”  
“I just came for Foofy,” I said.  
“Ah, right. The cat.” Michael moved to the side and I saw that Foofy was lying on the ground, fur dirty and matted with blood.  
“FOOFY!” I cried. I started running towards him, but stopped when Michael pointed a pistol at my chest.  
“See, when I noted that I had a list of demands, I meant it, Chris. You are yet to fulfill one last request…”  
“CHRIS! Why did you trust him?” shouted Ted. I ignored him.  
“Name it,” I said.  
“I want you to… kill my son.”  
I couldn’t hide the shock that I felt. “Wha-what? You… you want me too…” I couldn’t finish my sentence.  
Ted yelled, “WHAT THE HECK! LET ME GO!”  
“If my demands are, in any way, unreasonable…” Michael swiveled the gun so that it was pointing at Foofy.  
“NO!” I cried. “I’ll do it.”  
“WHAT?!” screamed Ted. “Chris…!”  
Michael smiled, showing off his fangs, and handed me the gun, pulling a smaller pistol from under his coat.  
“Now, I’d advise you to do it quickly.”  
“Chris…” Ted said. I didn’t even look at him. I just gripped the gun and pointed it in his direction.  
I finally looked at him, one last time. His eyes were sunken with horror. I looked him in the eyes coldly. He looked down. Tears were forming in his eyes. I aimed the gun at his head. He closed his eyes tight. I looked at Michael’s devilish grin, and pulled the trigger.  
All I hear is a scream. And then I open my eyes. Michael had crumpled to the floor, a bullet hole through his back.  
Ted stared. “Chris… I really thought that… after all I had done to you…”  
I looked at him. “Well you thought wrong.” I pulled the trigger again, this time with my eyes open, shooting a bullet right at Ted.  
He screamed.  
“Those ropes were too tight,” I said, as Ted’s bindings fell away.  
He jumped up and gave me a hug. “I… am triggered,” he said.  
“So to speak,” I said. “That’s what best friends are for.”  
“Thanks man,” he said. “Let’s get out of here .”  
“Wait… FOOFY!” I cried, running to grab my cat. He woke up, meowed, and gave me a friendly lick and nibble on my hand when I touched him.  
“OHMYSWEETJESUSFOOFYITHOUGHTYOUWEREDEADYOUBEAUTIFULCATIWASSOWORRIED!” I yelled, and started licking him. Foofy purred.  
“Chris… uhh… not to ruin your moment but…”  
“Oh right, sorry,” I said, blushing. “Let’s go home.”  
“And… um, I’m really sorry about all that stuff I said. I really didn’t mean it. I was just upset about my dad and Jeffmelon…”  
“It’s cool,” I said.  
“Is there… anything I can do to make it up?”  
I got a little smile on my face. “Well, there is one thing I always wanted you to do…”  
* * *AVA  
It was well past noon when I woke up; in Aiden’s bed, obviously. Chris didn’t care what we did after Ted’s whole freak-out incident (yes, that was very intentional), which gave us the freedom to watch movies and play video games talk late into the night and sleep in the same room (hey, the guest room door was broken remember?).  
Anyway, bonus time with Aiden was always a good thing, even though I was getting kind of tired of wearing the same clothes all the time.  
“Are you hungry?” asked Aiden. “I think we have some bagels or something in the pantry. There not as good as Chris’s crepes, but… actually, I have no idea where Chris is.”  
“Bagels sound good,” I said, as we walked down the staircase. I poured us some OJ while Aiden toasted two cinnamon raisin bagels for us.  
“How did you know my favorite bagel?” I asked.  
“Well, it’s my favorite, too.”  
I kissed him. He kissed me back, and I blushed.  
Suddenly the doorbell rang.  
“I hate doorbells,” declared Aiden. “Except for the fact that that’s how I met my special someone…”  
“And who would that be?” I teased.  
“You, obviously,” he said, and kissed me again, but the doorbell kept ringing, and I decided that I was starting to hate them too.  
“I’ll get it,” said Aiden. I followed him. He opened the door. It was Ted, giving Chris a piggyback ride. Chris looked like he was having the time of his life, while Ted looked like he was about to pass out.  
“Um, excuse me but… what the heck are you freaks doing?” said Aiden.  
Ted rushed right past us, dropping Chris on the couch and collapsing right next to him, trying to catch his breath.  
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” yelled Chris, throwing his hands in the air.  
“Sweet... Jesus… You’re freaking HEAVY, Chris!”  
“I think that anyone’s heavy after you’ve been carrying them for a few blocks,” quipped Chris.  
“Freaks,” I whispered to Aiden.  
“Freaks,” he whispered back.  
Ted looked at me. “Okay, I’m only here to pick you up, little miss.”  
“What? Nooooo!” I cried. “I want to stay with Aiden!”  
“Absolutely not,” said Ted. “You’re already in some hot water for killing your brothers!”  
“You mean those ugly watermelon things? Wow, you really are a freak.”  
“Okay, move your butt,” he said. “I am forbidding you to see Aiden for a week. We’re leaving, now.”  
“MAKE me,” I retorted.  
“Hey, Ted, you want me to come over to help?” asked Chris.  
“Yes, I am definitely going to need help… I’ll need someone to stop me from killing this brat.”  
* * *  
We all got to Ted’s house, Aiden managing to gain entry with the argument, “I can’t stay home alone!”  
“Fine,” growled Ted. “But you’re not allowed to talk to Ava.”  
In my mind I was thinking, Uh, huh, yeah right.  
“I’M HUNGRY!” I declared.  
“Weren’t you eating when we got home?” pointed out Chris.  
“Yeah, we were eating, before you FREAKS interrupted us!”  
“She’s your daughter, Ted,” said Aiden, winking at me. “YOU adopted her, now she’s YOUR responsibility. So feed her.”  
“I thought I told you not to -” started Ted.  
“I wasn’t talking to HER, I was talking to YOU! And you never told me not to look at her.”  
“That wasn’t a look - you winked at her!”  
“You never told me not to wink at her, either!”  
“Wow, Aiden, you should be a lawyer,” I said.  
Ted looked mad. “Hey! YOU’RE not allowed to -”  
“No, you told Aiden he couldn’t talk to me!”  
“Loopholes,” whispered Aiden.  
Ted looked like he was about to explode. “YOU CHEEKY LITTLE…” Chris put his hand on his arm. “Ted?” Ted took a deep breath.  
“Ava, go to your room. NOW,” he said.  
“MAKE me, Ted.” I said defiantly.  
“That’s ‘dad’ to you, you little IDOT!”  
“IT’S IDIOT, YOU IDIOT!” I yelled, running over to Aiden and kissing him.  
AIDEN  
Oh Jesus, I thought. She really is perfect.

AVA  
GO TO YOUR ROOM!” shouted Ted. I just looked over, gave Ted the evil eye, and stuck out the middle finger. Ted’s face turned code red. “Don’t make me come over there.”  
When I continued to ignore him, he said, “Do you really want me come over there?” His voice was dangerously quiet. I finally turned my head up and saw the look in his eyes.  
“Nope,” I said, and dashed into my room.  
TED  
I locked the door. “CHRIS! “WHY ME?” I looked to where my so-called best friend was laughing his ass off.  
“I...I’m sorry,” he said between laughs.  
“Gee, I’m glad to see that I really have such supportive friends,” I noted, rolling my eyes, which only made Chris laugh harder.  
Aiden still looked starstruck from his make-out session with Ava.  
All of a sudden I heard a voice from inside the guest room. “HEY TED! I COULD REALLY USE SOME FRESH AIR IN HERE!”  
“It’s DAD, and the window doesn’t…” then I realized what she was saying. “Don’t you dare, you little…” All I heard was glass breaking.  
“Shit!” I said, unlocking the door and slamming it open. I ran inside to where, indeed, the window was broken. There was broken glass everywhere, but I rushed to the broken window, because Ava was nowhere in sight. Would she really have jumped out?  
Then I heard the door slam behind me, locking. I could hear Ava’s laughter from outside of the room.  
“Who’s the idiot now?” she quipped.  
“AAAAARRRRRGGHH!” I yelled. I really was an idiot for falling for that one; Ava had been hiding behind the door the whole time! Jesus, this parenting stuff was HARD.  
I kicked the door open. Pieces of chipped wood went flying everywhere. I spotted Ava, laughing with Aiden, and charged.  
“Ted, wait!” I heard Chris’s voice, but I didn’t stop, until he jumped in front of me. I tripped, and he tripped on me, his lips kissing my cheek on the way down.  
I blushed, then jumped up and practically shoved him out of the house, slamming the door in his face and locking it tight.CHRIS  
I ran outside to the sidewalk and started to cry. Why the heck did I do that? Why was I so freaking stupid?  
I turned to look back at Ted’s house, and I spotted Ava and Aiden on the balcony. They were both staring at me eating popcorn, like this was some kind of movie. Ted’s face was at the window. His expression was mostly confused and kind of guilty; but mad, too. This only made me cry harder, so I turned around and ran down the street; straight into Michael.  
“Whoa, Chris, what’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly concerned. Ted explained his moods to me once. He said that if his dad saw that someone was emotionally hurt, he would be sympathetic because it reminded him of his son when he was little. “But other than that, he sucks,” is what Ted followed up with.  
I just sobbed harder. Michael gave me a hug. In the back of my mind I felt a little relieved that he wasn’t holding a pitchfork this time. I was still human, so being stabbed would probably not be healthy.  
“There, there,” he said, patting me on the back. “Let it all out.”  
I tried to wipe the tears out of my eyes, but once they got started, they just wouldn’t stop. “I, uh… I just kind of got my heart broken.”  
“By who?” said Michael. Then he got a knowing expression on his face. “Wait, was it Ted?”  
“No!” I lied. I felt my face get hot, but I hoped that Michael couldn’t notice through the tears. “It was… it was a girl.”  
“Ooooh, who?” teased Michael, his curiosity piqued. “Were you dating her? Did she break up with you?”  
“No… I just thought she liked me. She sent me a love letter, but, uh, she stood me up.” Yes, I was just coming up with the story as I went along.  
“There, there,” said Michael, patting my back.  
“Thanks,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “You’re like the father I never had.”  
“What happened to your dad?” asked Michael. It was a question that I wasn’t equipped to talk about, that I tried hard to avoid at all costs. But once it was planted, well, grief certainly knew how to propagate. So I wept on Michael’s shoulder, and he gave me a hug.  
“Back to the heartbreak,” he said after a while, probably because he thought it was an easier subject. It was, slightly. “What was her name?”  
“Betty,” I said, referring to my dog-loving enemy, because that’s the first name that came to mind.  
“Oooh, drama!” said Michael, just before his phone rang. “Oop. Sorry, Chris, I have to take this. Best of luck with Betty.” He walked away.  
“Okay,” I said awkwardly. “Um, bye.”  
I wasn’t really sure what to do now. There was no way that I was going back to Ted’s house. He probably didn’t want to see me, and I probably wouldn’t be able to face him anyway. I was still crying a little, but I decided to wipe my tears away and just go back to my own house.  
I was about to open the door when I realized that I left my keys in Ted’s house. Dang it! Then I spotted a car in the driveway. Oh! My mom was back! She could open the door.  
I rang the doorbell, but it wasn’t Mom who opened the door; it was Ted. I felt my face get hot, but before I could say anything, he asked,  
“Um, are you okay, bro?”  
I wasn’t sure what else to say, so I just hugged him and cried. He patted me on the back, just like his father.  
“I’m so sorry… I just… I was just being really stupid and…” I never finished, because in that moment Ted squeezed me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed and felt a shiver run down my spine. It felt good. Then I heard a collective gasp. I whipped my head around, to where Ava and Aiden were staring on the couch; along with Mom, who had walked in from the kitchen and seen the whole thing.  
“Ummm… Chris?” started my mom.  
“Yeah, Mom?” I answered, probably way too perkily.  
“Did Ted just…”  
“NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, this is just a huge misunderstanding. He was just telling me something.” I quickly “explained.”  
“Oh, okay,” she said, satisfied, but still kind of surprised. “By the way Aiden, are you dating that girl?”  
I figured that I had come in before some proper introductions had been made.  
“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” he snapped.  
“No, of course not, I was just wondering when you were going to introduce me!” she said.  
“Okay, I’ll introduce you RIGHT NOW, meet us in the kitchen.”  
As soon as they had left, Ted turned to me and asked, “Uh, you want to go outside?”  
“Oh, yeah, sure.” We sat on the patio chairs.  
“Like I said, I’m, uh, I’m really sorry…” I began.  
Ted cut me off. “Don’t be sorry, Chris. I should be apologizing. It must have been an accident.”  
I hesitated. “Well, um, yeah, you could… you could say that…”. I immediately regretted what I said.  
“You… you did that on…?” Ted was slowly blushing more and more until he was bright red. “Wait, you mean… It wasn’t an accident?”  
I tried to backtrack. “No, no! It’s because I stepped in front of you and tripped and…!”  
“Oh, okay then, it’s cool,” said Ted, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t exactly convinced. “Don’t worry, accidents happen.” We stared out into the quiet street for a few moments before Ted said, “Just be careful next time, okay?” and hugged me. I hugged him back. It felt really nice. We just hugged for a little while.  
Until I felt something wet explode on my head. I looked up to see to see Ava and Aiden holding a bunch of water balloons on the balcony. They started to attack.  
“OKAY, BREAK IT UP LOVE BIRDA!” they said.  
“IT’S BIRDS YOU IDOTS!” retorted Ted, dodging water balloons.  
“IT’S IDIOTS, YOU IDIOTS!” yelled Ava, and started cracking up hysterically with Aiden.  
“Chris and Ted, sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then come A MILLION babies in a baby carriage!” Ava and Aiden were chanting at the top of their lungs. My face was burning. Ted was blushing hard too, his hands curled into fists. I saw a smile tugging at his lips.  
“Shut up,” he muttered, looking down.  
Ava seized the moment. “Awwwww! Looks like someone is too shy to admit that they love Chris!” she said in a sing-song voice. My heart jumped at the word love, and I could feel myself blushing even harder.  
I shyly looked up at Ted, who was blushing harder than I had ever seen him, unable to contain a smile. “You… you love me?”  
Ted hesitated, then finally shut his eyes and pushed me away. “NO!” he yelled. “EWWWWW, NO WAY!” I felt my heart dropping, and tears welling uncontrollably in my eyes.  
“OOOOOOOOOOH CHRIS JUST GOT REJECTED!” yelled Aiden, and started cracking up with Ava. That didn’t really help. I really did feel like an idiot, and for the first time in forever I felt depressed. Everything except for my stupid feelings and rejection faded away. I was alone. I was stunned and hurt. The moment reminded me of a poem I had heard somewhere, and that was strangely the only thing I could think of.  
Unrequited love  
Is ten times worse  
When you had been led to believe  
A lie  
When all you can do  
Is force a smile  
Choke back tears  
And watch the world fall around you  
Then I snapped out of it and punched Ted as hard as I could and ran. I did not force a smile. I did not choke back tears. I just ran, weeping harder than I ever had before, wishing that everything I ever knew, the past nine years, to just disappear.AIDEN  
“Whoa Ted, that’s pretty harsh,” said Ava after Chris ran away crying. I couldn’t help feeling kinda sorry for him.  
“I know,” I said. “RUDE.” Ted didn’t look up. One of his hands was still clenched by his side. His other hand was holding the shoulder that Chris punched. He was ignoring us, and I didn’t like it.  
“HEY, TED!” I yelled. “Think fast!” He turned up, just in time for a Jeffmelon to smack him right in the face. He fell like a ragdoll onto the grass and didn’t get up.  
Me and Ava just looked at each other with our eyes wide open. Then we looked down at where Ted was, 100% unconscious. We ran downstairs like our butts were on fire.  
Yep. Tedrick was knocked out pretty good. It might’ve been funny under different circumstances.  
Ava turned to me. “RUN BEFORE THE COPS COME!” she yelled, and we took off. We might be able to get away with smashing Ava’s “brothers”, but potentially killing a human would probably land us both in jail… Oh shit, we were in trouble.  
We didn’t stop running until we ran right into Chris.  
“Hey!” I yelled as I crashed into him. “Ow!” I stumbled back, and Ava caught me. “Thanks,” I said.  
Chris turned around. His bangs were covering his eyes, but his face was streaked with tears. “Sorry,” he said.  
“You’d better be,” I said, kind of harshly.  
Then Chris started to cry. “I’m sorry! I’m nothing but a stupid bother. You and mom don’t deserve me. You’re better off without me. I’m leaving.” Chris turned around and started to walk away.  
“Hey wait! Where are you going?” I asked, chasing after him.  
“Somewhere where I don’t bother anyone. Somewhere where somebody cared. I’m not sure if there’s a place like that that exists, but I have to try.”  
Suddenly I realized what I had to do. I had to play the role that I should’ve started playing ages ago.  
I grabbed Chris’s arm.  
“You don’t bother me,” I said tugging on his sleeve. Chris looked at me, then pulled his hand away. But then Ava grabbed his other arm.  
“You don’t bother me either,” she said simply.  
“Yeah right. You can stop pretending, you know. I know the truth,” said Chris, tears falling from his eyes.  
I tried again “Chris, I know it may not seem like it, but…” It didn’t work. Chris pulled away from both of us and started to run. I chased after him.  
“I am NOT lying, Chris, please don’t go!” I pleaded. Chris didn’t turn, but at least he had stopped running.  
I tried looking at his eyes, but they were shielded. “Chris, please.” Ava started to look at him like an adorable puppy, which may have distracted me slightly, until she yelled, “Hey, wait!” and I turned to see Chris sprinting away.  
We didn’t give up the chase. Finally, Chris stopped and leaned against a brick wall. He was sobbing and trying to catch his breath at the same time.  
“No one… even hangs out with me…” he cried.  
“Um, Ted does,” I reminded him. I saw Chris’s face turn fire hydrant red, but he just turned away and sobbed harder.  
“He doesn’t want me around anyway,” he mumbled. “He just stays because he feels sorry for me. I’m done with that. And to think… well I actually thought he cared…” Chris started laughing hysterically. He turned around and laughed harder.  
“Um, Chris? You… okay there?” I was actually a little bit freaked out.  
“No!” yelled Chris. “I’m suffering from stupidity… I am so stupid!”  
His laughs steadily turned back into sobs, and he looked down.  
“No one really cares,” he said. “I was just kidding myself all along.”  
“Betty cares,” I blurted, before I realized what I was saying.  
“What?” Chris just stopped and looked at me like I was out of my mind.  
I regretted what I had said, but it was too late to backtrack. So I repeated myself. “I said… Betty cares about you.”  
Chris covered his eyes with his hand and started laughing, but I could see tears streaking his face. He just laughed and laughed for a while. Me and Ava stared and gave each other confused and awkward looks. We legitimately had no idea what to do.  
“HAHAHAHA!” laughed Chris, and then finally started calming down. “Heh, heh.” He started crying again. “She’s my enemy, idiot. Why would she care?” He giggled and cried at the same time. I didn’t immediately respond, because I was not used to this.  
Then I heard footsteps approaching us. I turned to see Betty walking towards us, right on cue.  
Chris was oblivious, until she said, “You complete me. Without you, I would have no one to kill and no enemy to destroy.” Then, blushing a little, she punched him lightly on the arm.  
Chris jumped back and swatted her hand away. “WHAT THE HELL BETTY! HAVE YOU BEEN EAVESDROPPING THIS ENTIRE TIME?”  
Betty shrugged her shoulders and gave looked away mischievously. “Maaaybe.” Then she closed her eyes and stuck her hand out poetically, like she was about to start quoting a famous book or something. “To know your enemy, you must befriend that enemy. Learn their weaknesses, gain information, and destroy them using the knowledge you were provided.”  
Chris got a really weird look on his face, like he couldn’t decide if Betty was revealing her ultimate plan, flirting with him, or just reciting a military oath or something.  
“Ava,” I whispered. “I really want some popcorn now.”  
Ava just looked on, an amused grin tugging at her lips. “Uh-huh.”  
Chris just inhaled deeply and made a pissed face at Betty. “Okay, so your were eavesdropping.”  
Betty stuck her tongue out at him. “I will never tell.”  
“I am really not in the mood for this, Betty…”  
“Oh, look, someone is being a difficult teenager.”  
“Screw you,” said Chris, and tried punching her. He failed. Multiple times. It was hilarious. Me and Ava were totally cracking up. Then I got a funny idea…  
Chris finally stopped, leaning over and gasping for breath. “You little…”  
“What’s the matter Chris? Feeling a little weak?” Betty stood in front of him triumphantly, hands on her hips. She started laughing.  
Chris’s face was the definition of rage. “I WILL END YOU!” he stood up straight, and in that moment I shoved him towards Betty. Hard.  
My plan worked perfectly. Chris stumbled right into Betty, his lips landing on hers. Their eyes went wide and Chris shoved Betty to the ground.  
“FUCK!” he yelled. I had never heard him curse like that before. I felt like I was about to explode from holding in my laughter. Ava too.  
“EWWWWWW!” Betty was spitting on the ground. Suddenly she gagged and puked into a nearby trash can. And she did it again. And again. It was awful. Awfully funny.  
Chris looked pretty green too, but I think the sight of Betty suffering revived him, because then he started pointing and laughing.  
Betty tried to charge at Chris, but stumbled and fell on the floor, exhausted, probably from throwing up so much.  
“HAHAHAHA!” gloated Chris. “Who’s the weak one NOW, Betty?”  
Betty looked up angrily. “Ugh, you little....” Then her face brightened, and she whistled sharply.  
“What the…” Chris was confused. Ava and I were too, until we turned around in time to see a horde of angry dogs speeding towards us.  
Ava urgently tugged on my sleeve, “Uhhh, Aiden…!” and I snapped out of my shock.  
“RUN FOR IT, AVA!” I yelled, and she grabbed my hand. We took off like there was a horde of dogs at our heels, because there was, to my house, laughing the whole way there.CHRIS  
I must’ve been too happy with my victory over Betty to realize that her dog army was coming, or even that triumphant look on her face. Yes, sometimes I get too happy to see what is going on.  
In any case, all I heard was “RUN FOR IT, AVA!” and I turned to see why… much too late to escape.  
It felt like a wave; a furry, hot, smelly wave crashing into me. Every time I tried to get up another dog pounced on me. I could vaguely hear Betty’s stupid laugh from outside the sea of dogs. I was so mad.  
“CURSE YOU…” I attempted to yell this along with some descriptive language but I couldn’t due to the fact I was drowning in fur.  
Then I realized, Hey wait. I have a weapon, too. I clapped my hands...  
...And an ocean of cats pounced on the dogs as if they were prey.  
Right on command, too. They were here 23 times faster than Betty’s dog army. Dang, Chris. I applauded myself. You really ARE a good army general. Even Foofy showed up, and affectionately jumped on my head after I got to my feet, now able to get a full view of the beautiful scenery that I had command over. The look on Betty’s face was priceless.  
I gestured for a few of my best soldiers to teach her a lesson. I started laughing at her misery, until she started to cough up blood. That made me stop. I called off the cat army, and she called off the dogs in between spitting out blood. In the back of my head I was thinking, What if she’s a vampire too and I’m literally the only one here who’s human?  
She stopped and I wasn’t really sure what to do. Then she started gagging and coughing up blood again. It looked pretty bad.  
“Did I… did I take it too far?” I wondered aloud. Betty looked like she was about to say something, but she just doubled over and coughed some more, until she collapsed on the ground.  
“Oh shit,” I said, staring. “Shit, I think I killed her.” I went over and started shaking her. No response.  
“Wake UP, Betty!” I yelled. Nothing. “Stop playing around, come on, wake up!” Her breath was coming out in raggedy wheezes.  
“Stop playing around, BETTY! WAKE UP!” I shook her as hard as I could. I really did hate her, but I wasn’t going to wish death upon anyone. She lay as still as could be.  
“BETTY! COME ON, GIVE ME A SIGN! SHOW ME THAT YOU’RE OKAY!” I was starting to get freaked out. I did not want to be framed for murder at seventeen. “ANSWER ME, BETTY!” Not sure if it was a coincidence, but in that moment her phone rang. It was the sound of a dog barking. I took the call, but just for the stupid ringtone to shut up.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey Betty. It’s Nick.”  
“Actually, I’m Chris.”  
“Wait, what? Oh, hold on, I see you. What the…” I heard Nick hang up, and lifted my view to see him rollerblading towards us.  
“WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!” he yelled frantically.  
I was going to try to respond, but he kept yelling. “CHRIS, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!?”  
“NOTHING! I SWEAR!” I was able to match his volume somehow.  
“Then what…!”  
“She just started coughing up blood and then she passed out! I have no idea what to do!”  
“Did you tire her out or something?! SHE HAS FLIPPING ASTHMA, CHRIS!”  
“WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?”  
Nick looked like he was going to yell again, but then he was quiet for a second and got a weird look on his face. “Chris… why is there pink lip gloss smeared on your lips?”  
“What…?” Then I felt my face get hot. I had forgotten about that.  
“CHRIS, WERE YOU MAKING OUT WITH HER!?” yelled Nick, completely incredulous.[aj]  
“WHAT?!!!!” I screamed. Even the thought of doing that made me feel sick. “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! I TRIPPED, AND…”  
“Just stop, Chris. I don’t want to hear your lies.”  
I was indignant. “WHY WOULD I EVEN…?!”  
“I dunno,”said Nick nonchalantly. Then he got a little smile on his face. “Maybe because she likes you.”  
“What,” I said. No, it couldn’t be. This was all wrong. Then I heard a voice. It was Betty. She was still alive. I couldn’t help but feel relieved.  
“Nick?” she said, still lying on the ground. Nick looked relieved and opened his mouth, but Betty said, “Shut up,” and took a swing at him. It wasn’t very hard. “I heard that. He is my enemy, I don’t like him.”  
Nick must’ve also noticed that she was kind of blushing, because he gave her a look of skepticism.  
Betty tried to sit up and almost got to her feet, but then she stumbled and fell, probably still tired.  
Nick tried to help her, but eventually just gave up and let her lie on the cement. I just stared with a look of amusement.  
“Look’s like you’re pretty WEAK,” I smirked.  
“STOP STARING AT ME. YES, I AM WEAK. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!” Betty covered her eyes with her arm, but she was blushing and a small smile was tugging at her lips.  
I just turned around, homeward bound. Then I took one last look at the scene I was leaving behind. “Oh, and Betty? I’m too MEOWVALOUS for you!” I turned on my heel and sashayed away, but not before Betty said, just loud enough for me to hear, “So fabulous that you’re the one that gets his clothes at the 99 cent store.”  
I could’ve pointed out the fact that what I was wearing right then and there was what I had gotten at Louis Vuitton in Rome, but I decided that Betty wasn’t worth anymore of my time, so I just gasped in mock anger and enjoyed her smug little laugh. She had played herself, and she didn’t even know it.  
I whistled an upbeat tune all the way home. Ted was in the front yard, cleaning up some smashed Jeffmelon remnants and grumbling to himself. I just stood awkwardly until he noticed me. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to say.  
“Oh! Hey, Chris,” he waved and stood up to greet me. “Hey, um… no hard feelings over…?” Ted was blushing, and I figured that I was, too.  
Control yourself, I whispered to my heart, but it was a losing battle. I looked down and felt tears form in my eyes.  
“Yes,” I said.  
“What?” asked Ted.  
“Yes… I have hard feelings.” I shut my eyes and tried, unsuccessfully, to will my tears away.  
“Oh, Chris… No, please don’t cry, Chris. Please don’t cry.” Ted lifted my head and moved the bangs out of my eyes. “Don’t cry, Chris.” I broke down and cried on his chest. Ted hugged me.  
“Please, Chris. I can’t stand to see you like this. You’re the reason I don’t cry anymore.” Ted stroked my hair. He gently kissed my head.  
I was still teary, but I stopped crying. “How our roles have changed,” I said quietly. “I cheered you up, and now you are repaying that beautifully.”  
Ted squeezed me harder. He was about to cry himself. But he smiled at me and we sat down on the grass, admiring the darkening hues of the sky.AVA  
Let me just say for the record that me and Aiden were watching the entire time and eating popcorn silently on the porch. We were both entranced, to the point, I think, that even Aiden's eyes started to water.  
“Couple goals,” I whispered. He just nodded and kept stuffing his face with popcorn. We just stared. Eventually Chris started to cry again, and Ted hugged him and stroked his hair for a few more minutes. We were watching like it was a movie.  
Suddenly the door opened. It was Aiden’s mom, Kate. She was one of the few people I audibly liked. Her attitude was enough to keep my boyfriend in line. Barely, but I had to recognize her for that.  
“Hey, it’s time to come inside,” she started, then noticed Aiden and I staring at Chris. “Ummmm…” I think she realized what was going on, because she started staring too. Chris and Ted had no idea.  
“Sorry about that,” said Chris, looking down at Ted’s shirt, now stained with mascara.  
Ted didn’t even bat an eye. “Don’t worry about it, Chris. It’s fine; I have other shirts.” He hugged Chris, and Chris smiled.  
We kept watching in awe.  
“Aiden,” said Kate, whispering. “Give me some popcorn! You’re hogging it all.”  
“Oh don’t worry,” I said, playing my innocent angel role. I didn’t want to leave, but I wanted to make a good impression for my boyfriend’s mother. “I can go make some more.”  
“Thank you so much,” said Kate, impressed with my manners. “You’re such a sweetheart.”  
I left and started to run and make popcorn as fast as I possibly could.  
AIDEN  
“You’ve got a good one there, Aiden,” whispered my mom as soon as Ava was out of earshot, nudging me.  
I blushed, but didn’t deny it, of course. I loved Ava with all my heart. She was more than good. She was perfect. We were soulmates, I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her.  
“Of course,” I said. “She’s the best girl anyone could dream of.”  
Ava came back with the popcorn in that moment, handing a bowl to me and then to my mom.  
“Thank you, darling,” said my mom, obviously under the impression that Ava was an innocent angel.  
Ava was carrying another few bowls of popcorn, so I got up to help her, but I stumbled and accidentally dropped it on Ted and Chris.  
“Whoops,” I said. Ted hadn’t taken much notice yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time, like a ticking time bomb.  
“RUN BEFORE THEY CATCH US!” said my mom playfully, but I sensed a hint of concern as she hustled us inside.  
TED  
Sure as heck I had felt Aiden’s bowl of popcorn fall on my head, but I noticed that Chris had passed out, and decided not to react.  
“Awww,” I said quietly. “You look cute when you sleep, Chris.” Chris didn’t react; he was probably completely worn out. So I leaned down and kissed his forehead. I couldn’t help myself.  
I picked him up. He was surprisingly light. His eyes fluttered open.  
“Ted?” he asked, half asleep. “What…”  
“Shhh,” I whispered. “Go back to sleep.” Chris didn’t argue, which worried me a tiny bit, since he usually had the energy of a 5 year old. He just muttered, “Mm-kay,” and closed his eyes again.  
CHRIS  
I must’ve fallen asleep for only a few minutes. When I woke up I could feel Ted carrying me, but I pretended to stay asleep because I was pretty tired, and it felt really nice to be carried by Ted.  
He tucked me into the guest room bed. I just relaxed.  
Ted sat down, obviously still under the impression that I was sleeping. “I’m sorry I was being a jerk, Chris,” he said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Then he lay down beside me. It was really nice. I finally opened my eyes and gave him a hug.  
“Apology accepted,” I said. Ted’s eyes went wide, and he blushed and fell off the bed. It was priceless. I giggled.  
“Y… you heard everything I said,” remarked Ted.  
“Every single word,” I assured him. Ted smiled shyly and lightly punched me in the ribs.  
“You goofball,” he said teasingly as I sat up and he hugged me.  
Of course, Ava chose that exact moment to come in. Ted whipped his head around. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” he yelled.  
“Um, I LIVE HERE you idiot!” she retorted. “I’VE LIVED HERE FOR, LIKE, THREE DAYS!”  
“Haven’t you ever learned to knock?” said Ted, still pretty annoyed.  
“Nope,” said Ava smugly.  
“Then learn!” he replied, miffed. I couldn’t help feel happy that Ted was mad over being interrupted when he was alone with me.  
“But the real question is,” continued Ava. “What are you doing with Chris?”  
Touche, I thought as I felt my face redden.  
“Is he gonna be my mom, or…” Ava tried to place the question innocently, but she couldn’t hide a sneaky smile.  
Ted blushed hard, and I blushed harder. Neither of us said a word.  
Ava swooped in and took the moment with a gasp. “OH MY GOD, HE IS! Wait, does that mean I can’t marry Aiden?” Ava suddenly was concerned.  
“Uhhhh,” Ted tried to respond. “Well… you still can, but…” He stopped.  
“Okay,” said Ava, satisfied for only a second. “So is Chris gonna be my mom or not?”  
I could see Ted’s face redden even further, and my heart gave a jump of anticipation. “Ummmmm…” he said, looking away.  
“Come on!” said Ava. “He acts like a mom anyway. You two already look like a couple. Even Aiden’s mom ships you two!”  
“Wait!” I opened my mouth, and before I could stop myself, said, “MY MOM KNOWS THAT I LIKE TED?!”  
It took me a second to realize what a big idiot I was. I slapped a hand over my mouth and blushed. Ted and Ava looked at me, their jaws on the floor and their eyes as big as saucers.  
I looked down. “I’ve said too much,” I muttered. The room was silent for a few more seconds, until Ted said,  
“...Chris?”  
I blushed harder and my eyes started to water. I knew what was coming. Rejection. And believe me, I had already gone through it way too much for one day. So I bolted.  
“CHRIS, WAIT!” Ted yelled. I kept running, until he grabbed my hand, catching up to me in the living room. “You like me?” Ted looked straight into my eyes, and I could feel hot tears of embarrassment fall down my face.  
“I’M SORRY, I WAS BEING REALLY STUPID AND I...I…” I tried to explain, but then Ted hugged me, which immediately shut me up.  
“It’s okay,” he said soothingly. I broke down and cried on him as he held me. “Shhh, it’s okay.”  
“You could’ve just told me,” said Ted, stroking my hair.  
“I… I didn’t tell you… because… I was… I was…” I looked down.  
“Embarrassed?” finished Ted. I just nodded silently and kept hugging him.  
“I would’ve understood, Chris.”  
It took a moment for Ted’s words to sink in. “Wait… does that mean…” Before I could finish my sentence, Ted leaned over and kissed my cheek. Everything faded away, but I could feel my face get warm. Then I heard a collective gasp, and I turned to see Aiden, Ava, and my mom staring at us both. Then my mother fainted.  
Aiden raised his arms. “OH NO HE DIDN’T!”  
Ted looked over to where everyone was watching. He was blushing, but he didn’t say a word. My mom woke up.  
“M-mom! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” I asked, because this was Ted’s house, after all. I was blushing uncontrollably. As if we couldn’t had had a bigger audience, Michael walked through the door in that exact moment. He seemed confused, but no one payed him any attention.  
My mom was still gaping. “TED… DID… DID YOU JUST…” she let that sentence trail off, even though I doubted that anyone was prepared to answer. An awkward silence hung, until Michael stated,  
“I think I came at the wrong time.” I couldn’t help but agree. Then Michael ran behind the couch to keep watching. I couldn’t help but think it was funny, because everyone saw him doing it, but i wasn’t about to laugh.  
Then he whispered, audibly, to my mother, who was in close proximity, “What just happened?”  
I felt myself blush even more as my mom tried to explain, especially with Michael gasping all the time, but eventually they just went outside to keep chatting. Naturally, Ava and Aiden didn’t leave. At least they weren’t talking, though.  
It felt like the mood had relaxed significantly when Ted said, casually, “Oh well, that’s that.” I could still see some color in his cheeks.  
“Wait,” said Ava. “So does this meant that Chris is my mom?” Oh, not this again, I thought as I felt my cheeks reddening.  
Ted started to blush harder, as he looked down and said, “Well… um, not… not exactly…”  
“SO IS THAT A YES OR A NO?” insisted Ava. Aiden was smirking behind her. Ted and I were still blushing uncontrollably. I certainly wasn’t going to answer. Finally Ted pointed a finger at the door and said,  
“OKAY, GET OUT YOU TWO.” Aiden whispered something to Ava, and they ran outside, giggling. The second they were gone, Ted walked over to the kitchen and made himself a plate of watermelon. I guess he deserved it, but all I could really do was awkwardly stare at Ted from the living room doorway. I was still blushing. It was ridiculously hard to control, but I didn’t even try.  
Ted finally looked up at me, where I was staring like a psychopath. “What?” he asked.  
“Nuthin’” I responded. Ted rolled his eyes playfully, and walked over to the couch, where we both sat down. We didn’t talk. For a while all I heard was Ted’s quiet chewing and my own head, still buzzing. Finally I just leaned on Ted’s shoulder.  
“What are you doing? You’re making me feel uncomfortable,” said Ted, but I noticed that he didn’t move away or try to move my head away.  
Suddenly I heard a whisper from behind the couch. “Couple goals.” Oh crap, they were back.  
Ted must’ve heard it too, because he turned around and faced Ava. “Okay, one, what are you doing here? Two, no, we are not a couple.” My heart sunk a little at that last part.  
Ava didn’t even bat an eye. “Okay, one, I LIVE HERE YOU IDIOT. And two, so is he my mom or not?”  
Ted hesitated, but then said, “No,” with finality.  
Ava didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, so he’s my second dad? I’m fine with that.” Then she grabbed Aiden’s hand and took off, probably to avoid getting smacked by Ted.  
“HEY! GET OVER HERE!” yelled Ted, but they were long gone. “Ugh.”  
I laid my head down on Ted’s lap. Ted didn’t do anything so I said, “You seem kind of stressed out. Do you need a nap?”  
Ted didn’t respond, but he stroked my hair affectionately. I got up and sat in his lap, using his chest as a recliner. Ted couldn’t help but smile.  
“You goofball.” Then he hugged me. Then he put his chin on top of mine. I smiled.  
So naturally, Aiden and Ava chose that time to sneak back in, and when they saw what was happening, they simultaneously forgot their stealthiness and yelled, in unison, “COUPLE GOALSSSSSS!”  
Then Ava started chanting, “TED AND CHRIS, SITTIN’ IN A TREE!”  
Aiden continued as I blushed. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”  
The last bit they sang together. “FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE. THEN COME A BILLION BABIES IN A BABY CARRIAGE!” They erupted into peals of laughter. Ted was blushing too, but I could see annoyance in his face.  
Ava saw it, too. “Awwwwww, you’re just jealous. YOU KNOW YOU’RE DATING CHRIS!”  
Ted didn’t say anything, but I could see the gears turning in his head, and his eyes sparkled, as if there was a lightbulb going off above his head. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking of, but it was clear he had a genius moment. However, I never would’ve expected this:  
“YA, I’M DATING CHRIS!” yelled Ted at the top of his lungs, and kissed me. On the lips.  
For a few precious seconds, I was just in my own world of smiles and sunshine. I was blushing, really hard, and probably smiling and giggling softly like an idiot, but I didn’t care.  
It was even more satisfactory when Ava and Aiden collectively gasped. Sure, I could’ve been mad that they ruined the moment, but literally nothing could’ve ruined my mood right then.  
“They… they kissed…” mumbled Ava, in pure shock. Then a smile creeped into her face. “SO HE IS MY MOM!”  
Aiden and Ava ran away screaming in giddy shock and excitement. I was still in my own state of daydreaming as I saw them run. Then Ted looked me in the eyes and blushed, and I felt my world melt again.  
“Well… that will stop them for a while,” he remarked.  
I didn’t say anything. I was still locked in happiness. I was too happy, I realized, because I started to laugh and then I passed out on Ted for a few seconds. I woke up to the sound of Ted’s voice, but my eyes were still closed.  
“Oh, Chris.” Then I could feel him carrying me upstairs to my room. He tucked me in, again, and hugged me. I finally opened my eyes and give him a smile. “So you do love me,” I said.  
Ted hesitated, but then said, “Will this answer your question?” Then he leaned over, his eyes closed, and kissed me on the lips, again. It was unbelievably amazing. I held on to that moment for as long as I could.  
Ted opened his eyes and blushed.  
“So… you do love me,” I managed, blushing uncontrollably.  
“SO HE IS MY DAD!” said Ava, entering the room on cue. Ted turned to face her and looked her right in the eyes.  
“Yeah,” he said simply. “Yeah, he is.”  
That look on Ava’s face was priceless. Then again, the look on my face was probably priceless, too.  
“So… it’s official,” said Ava, once she was able to talk again. “You’re dating Chris.”  
“Well, no…” admitted Ted. Then he turned to me and winked. “Not yet.”  
“YET,” echoed Aiden, and started to giggle with Ava.  
“Now leave,” commanded Ted. They did, laughing and running all the way downstairs.  
I faced Ted, who looked pretty satisfied with himself, even though I could see him blushing. “Did you… did you say yet?”  
“Maybe,” said Ted mischievously. Then he sing-songed, “Will you, will you, will you go out with me?”  
I burst into joyful laughter, closing my eyes, hugging Ted and nodding with all of my heart.  
* * ** * *  
“YES!” I exclaimed, opening my eyes. I expected to see Ted’s smiling face in front of me. But all I saw was the ceiling.  
“What…? Ted?” I said out loud, before realizing that I was laying down on a bed. Had I passed out for longer than I thought?  
It occurred to me that there was suddenly an extra layer of reality, and I felt my heart sink into the ground when I realized that… well, I guess I must’ve been dreaming.  
But it felt so real! I was even still blushing. What was going on?  
I sat up and looked around. I was in one of Ted’s guest rooms. Everything was quiet and still. It was nighttime. Suddenly, Ted, in his pajamas, rushed into the room.  
“What the hell, Chris? What’s wrong? It’s three in the morning!” he noted, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.  
“Ted? What… what happened today?” I was still really confused.  
Ted made a face like he didn’t want to remember. “Well… I kinda had a rage quit. You ran off to who knows where, and then Aiden threw a Jeffmelon at me. You came back while I was cleaning up, and… you started crying. I hugged you, and then you passed out. You slept for the rest of the day, and for the next day, too. Why?”  
So it was a dream, after all. “No reason,” I lied.  
Ted sat down next to me, looking a little concerned. “What happened to you, Chris? I’ve never seen you out for that long.”  
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I was feeling a bit sick.”  
“You’re okay now?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine.”  
Ted put an arm around me. “I’m glad. Don’t scare me like that.” There was silence for a second, before Ted said, “I’m sorry about… well, I’m sorry for making you cry.”  
“It’s okay,” I said. Ted messed up my hair.  
“Go back to bed now, you goofball,” he said, and got up to leave.  
He was at the door, before I said, “Wait!” He turned around. “Can you… can you sleep here tonight? Just in case I… um… pass out again.”  
“Well, I should hope you pass out if you’re going to sleep,” remarked Ted, rolling his eyes playfully at me. “Sure, I can sleep here tonight, but make some space.”  
I gladly scooted over, and Ted crawled in.  
“Good night,” he said, and I fell asleep with a smile on my face.  
TED  
I had been worried about Chris. After all, he was usually a bundle of energy, and when he did sleep, it was only for, like, 8 hours, tops. But I guess it’s true that you can emotionally exhaust yourself, because I figured that made the most sense.  
Chris fell asleep before I did, so I took the opportunity to subtly wrap my arm around him. I must not have been subtle enough, though, because then Chris rolled over and hugged me back.  
* * *  
I thought that I heard the shutter of a camera click as I woke up, but I dismissed it as part of a dream and closed my eyes again.  
Until I heard someone banging on pots and pans, and the voice of my lovely (not) daughter, yelling at the top of her lungs.  
“WAKE UP, WAKE UP LOVEBIRDS! I’M HUNGRY! MAKE ME BREAKFAST!” shouted Ava.  
I groaned and covered my ears. Chris was stirring. “Make yourself breakfast, you brat,” I mumbled, trying to hold on to sleep.  
“NO!” screamed Ava. “AIDEN, GET THEM!”  
I turned, just in time to see a bucket of icy water being poured on me and Chris. I screamed and jumped out of bed, but somehow Chris was just barely waking up. Jesus Christ, he could sleep through a nuclear war.  
“AAAARRRGGH!” I screamed. Ava and Aiden ran out of the room. I thought about chasing them, but I was too tired, so I just stood still and shivered. I would have to kill them later.  
“Ted?” mumbled Chris, still half asleep, sitting up with his eyes closed. He pulled me back down into the bed and hugged me. “Come on, go back to sleep. I’m tired.”  
“No, I think it’s morning…” then I saw the alarm clock.  
“IT’S FOUR AM?” I yelled. “WHAT THE FREAKING HELL, AVA!” I heard bursts of laughter coming from the living room.  
“HAHAHAHA! IT WAS SO WORTH IT!” shouted Ava. “And by the way… I took a picture of you and Chris sleeping!” This was followed by some more laughter. I poked my head out, just about ready to smack their asses, but then Aiden grabbed Ava’s hand and they ran into her room. I heard the lock click.  
I sat back down on the bed. “UGGHHHH, I swear, I will kill them both one day.”  
Chris was still half asleep. “Come on, go back to bed, Ted,” he said sleepily.  
“How, Chris? Your brother wet the bed.”  
Chris giggled, finally opening his eyes. “I don’t know. You tell me.”  
“Let’s go upstairs to my room,” I suggested.  
“Okay.”  
We went up the stairs and into my room. Chris leaned on me the entire time. He must’ve still been tired.  
Once we were inside, I made sure to lock the door with my key.  
“So the little assholes can’t bother us anymore,” I said. Chris nodded, already falling asleep again, and crawled into bed, passing out instantly.  
“Awww, you look cute when you’re sleepy, Chris,” I whispered, tucking myself in right next to him, and putting my arm around him. I kissed his forehead. If I was in some sort of comic strip, there would surely be a thought bubble over my head, saying something like, Chris looks so cute when he’s sleeping.  
I fell asleep, hugging Chris closely, my head resting over his.  
* * *  
“What the…” it was Chris’s voice that woke me. I realized that I was still hugging him tight.  
“Oh Ted,” laughed Chris. He snuggled in closer and I heard him snoring lightly a few moments later.  
Then there was a knock on the door.  
“Go away,” I mumbled. “I’m tired, it can wait.”  
“Please Ted, I need to ask you something.” Ava’s voice was whiny.  
“No way,” I said decidedly.  
“Please!” There was a hint of urgency in Ava’s voice. Maybe it was serious. Or maybe she was just a good actress.  
I was leaning towards the second option, but the knocks just got louder, so finally I said, “Ok, I’m coming, I’m coming.”  
I sat up, rubbing my eyes, but I noticed that Chris’s hand was wrapped around my waist, even though he was still asleep.  
“Oh Chris,” I said quietly to myself. Then, before I could stop myself, I leaned down and gave Chris a kiss on the forehead; the exact moment that his eyes opened, of course.  
“What are you doing?” he asked, kind of blushing, but still really sleepy. He was so damn cute!  
I blushed hard. What could I say? Nothing worthy of a proper explanation, so I just looked away and said, “Ummm…”  
Chris was definitely blushing now. “Did you… kiss my forehead?” I saw that the corners of his mouth were going up a little.  
“Uhhhh…”  
“What’s going on in there!?” yelled Ava. I had momentarily forgotten about her, but for once I was glad for her presence.  
“Coming!” I yelled, jumping out of bed and trying the door. It didn’t open.  
“You locked it,” Chris reminded me.  
“Shoot,” I muttered. “Where’s the key?” I was patting myself all over.  
“HURRY UP, TED!” Ava whined. “Fine, I’ll just find some other dad to help me.”  
She had left, but I still had a problem on my hands. The key… if I couldn’t find it, Chris and I would be trapped in here.  
“But did you kiss my forehead?” Chris asked again, staring right at me.  
I hesitated. I had to say something! Here’s what came out instead: “Umm… I, uh… I… umm…”  
Smart, I know.[ak][al]  
Chris just got up and smiled. He walked over and gave me a much-needed hug.  
“It’s okay, I guess,” he assured me. I could tell he was trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but the tone of his voice gave his true feelings away. I blushed harder, and kept trying to open the goddamn door.  
“Where’s the freaking key?” I mumbled, re-checking my pockets. I was unsuccessful. “Jesus, where is the motherfucking key, I need it!” I’ll admit that I didn’t do very well with tight spaces, so I may have been starting to panic a little as my heart beat faster.  
Chris must’ve picked up on it, because he put his hand on my arm and asked, “Ted, what’s wrong?” I could feel myself blush harder as I felt his skin touch mine, but I didn’t answer.  
Chris tried again. “Ted…”  
I was trying to force the door open, but I guess I was trying a little too hard, because before Chris could get another word out, the handle snapped and fell on the floor.  
“Shit,” I muttered. “This is great, this is is just great.”  
“Ted, are you okay?” asked Chris. “You sure are mumbling a lot.”  
I couldn’t decide if I was relieved that Chris hadn’t heard what I said or not, but I was really freaking out now.  
“This is great, HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE, CHRIS?!”  
“Ted, just calm down, we’ll find a…”  
I couldn’t take it anymore. I punched the door as hard as I could and it immediately felt like my knuckles had been shot. A sharp pang of pain shot through my bones, climbing all the way up my arm. I didn’t want to scream. I just felt like that would make it worse. But I did it anyway, and I was right; it did make it worse. I dropped down on the floor and cradled my hand. It was bleeding a lot.  
Chris kneeled down next to me and grabbed my hand, sending even more pain up my arm. “Oh my God, Ted, let me see.”  
I blushed, then promptly yanked my hand away. More pain. “AAAAH, DON’T TOUCH ME!”  
“I’m just trying to help,” said Chris  
“Go away,” I muttered. I tried rubbing my knuckles to see if that would help, but it felt more like a bolt of lightning rushing into my hand.  
“OW!” I screamed, and tears started falling down my face. My hand looked awful. My knuckles were split open, and I was pretty sure I had broken some bones. There was blood and splinters all over.  
“Hey, hey, hey, Ted,” said Chris soothingly, rubbing my back. “Don’t cry. Here, just let me help you.” My hand was swelling.  
I shut my eyes tight and tried not to yelp as Chris calmly took out all of the splinters and bits of fiberglass from my hand. I didn’t think I had felt this much physical pain in a long time.  
However, Chris handled it like a pro. He went to get gauze to soak up some of the blood and slow down the flow. Then he took out some rubbing alcohol.  
“It’s to disinfect the cut,” he explained, popping the cap off. He looked at me a bit nervously. “Ummm… sorry this might burn a bit.”  
“Wait wh-”. Chris had poured the alcohol on my hand before I could protest, and I have to say, he was wrong about it burning a little. It didn’t burn a little. It burned like HELL.  
“OWWWWW!” I screamed, then bit down on the first thing I saw, which in this case was Chris’s neck. Oops. This resulted in Chris pouring even more rubbing alcohol on my hand. I screamed again.  
“OW, don’t bite me!” protested Chris, quickly bandaging up my hand.  
“THAT’S NOT RUBBING ALCOHOL, CHRIS! IT’S FREAKING ACID!” I yelled, shutting my eyes.  
“Oh, come on,” said Chris. He rubbed the spot where I had bitten him and looked at his hand, which was now smeared with blood. “Great. Now I’M bleeding.” He gave me an annoyed look.  
I stared at Chris’s neck and started to drool uncontrollably.  
“Um, Ted? What are you looking at?”  
“I’m… kinda hungry,” I mumbled.  
Chris didn’t react with much emotion, instead looking at the alarm clock. “Well, it’s already 11:45, so…”  
“WAIT, 11:45? SHIT! CHRIS, WE’RE LATE FOR WORK!”  
“I’ve been skipping it for what, two days? Three? Come on, we’ll be fine if we miss one more day,” reasoned Chris.  
“NOPE, GOTTA GO, BYE!” I yelled. I turned to leave but I made the mistake of looking at Chris’s neck one last time.  
It was like a feral instinct. “Wait!”  
Chris looked at me. “Yeah?”  
“Hug before I leave.” I was still staring at that bloody neck.  
“I’m bleeding. I don’t want to stain your shirt if you’re gonna go to work,” argued Chris.  
“I DON’T CARE. HUG. NOW.”  
“Um, okay.” Chris seemed a little weirded out, but he got up and gave me a hug anyway. The moment I was close enough, I leaned down and sucked Chris’s blood.  
I know that that seems really strange, but I swear, I literally had no control over my actions in that moment  
“HEY!” Chris shoved me away from him and instinctively covered his neck. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TED?!” he yelled angrily.  
For a second my logical side regained control and I blushed and looked down in shame. “Ummm…”  
“GO EAT SOMETHING, I AIN’T ON THE MENU!” yelled Chris, waving his hands around.  
“Okay,” I said, right before I looked up and my stupid instincts took over again. I shoved Chris to the ground and tried to suck his blood again.  
“HEY! TED, STOP!” Chris kicked me in the stomach. Hard. “Leave! You’re late to work!”  
I was dazed for a second, then got up in a huff. “Fine! I’ll leave!” I marched over my dead door and then sat on my porch for a little bit.  
What the hell was I thinking, biting Chris like that? What did he ever do to me? Nothing, idiot! Fuck this stupid vampire shit.  
I felt ashamed, obviously. What had come over me? Why couldn’t I keep it down? My father’s genes, I thought bitterly. I knew it wasn’t really fair, but I felt contempt towards my dad for being something he couldn’t help being.  
I stared off into the distance for a bit before looking at my watch. 12:01. I should’ve been at work, but I realized I didn’t care anymore. Not caring felt amazing.  
I did care about someone, though. I needed to go stay with Chris. Screw my paycheck. He was more important.  
I walked into my room again. “Chris?”  
He was on the floor, unconscious., blood dripping from his neck.  
Idiot, I scolded myself. What did you think was gonna happen?  
Aiden and Ava were silently staring at Chris in horror. I actually felt sorry for them.  
“We… we found him like this…” said Aiden softly. I took a deep breath. I would have to be the one to take charge.  
“Okay. Listen, and do exactly as I say. Ava, go to your room and take Aiden with you. Close the door. And whatever you do, DON’T GET OUT. Am I clear?”  
“Fine by me,” said Ava.  
“Wait!” said Aiden. “Will Chris be okay?”  
I wanted to say that it was sweet of him to care, but now wasn’t the time. “He’ll be okay,” I assured him.  
Ava took Aiden’s hand. “Come on, sweetie. Don’t worry, let’s go.”  
Aiden seemed reassured, because then he asked Ava, “Should I bring my DS?”  
“Oh, yeah, definitely.”  
They left, but I followed them, just to make sure that their door was locked before going back to Chris.  
Then I sat next to him. I was trying to whisper, so that I wouldn’t disturb Ava and Aiden, but I think I was closer to whisper-shouting. “CHRIS, WAKE UP. I’M SO SORRY, PLEASE WAKE UP.”  
I started to shake him, then stopped when I realized that that was only resulting in more blood pouring from the bite.  
Chris was really pale, and I was really freaked out. Then I thought, Oh, wait. I just have to be patient. Ava and Aiden woke up eventually when I bit them. I’ll just have to do the same for Chris. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.  
I gently picked up Chris and laid him on my bed. I wasn’t sure how to stop the bleeding - just the opposite, actually - so I just put a piece of gauze over the bite and hoped for the best.  
I wasn’t sure how I felt about staying in the same room as someone who looked kinda dead, so I decided to try and be productive by cleaning the house. It was awfully messy (you know, what with the Category 5 hurricanes destroying everything in their wake), so I grabbed a broom, mop, and Windex from the closet and got to it.  
* * *  
I had lost track of time, but the house was incredibly clean; possibly cleaner than it ever had been, so I figured that quite a long time had passed. The clock read, 4:46, so Chris must’ve already been awake.  
I wondered why he hadn’t gotten up yet, but I figured that he had lost a lot of blood (wonder why) and was probably weak.  
“Chris!” I yelled, walking into my room. “Oh shit.”  
Chris was still lying where I had left him, same position, same everything. Two differences: Chris was as white as a sheet now, and the gauze had completely failed. In fact, there was a small pool of blood pooled on my bed, and on the floor now… but he had stopped bleeding.  
My heart started racing as I got panicky. “Shoot, Chris, why aren’t you awake yet?”  
Suddenly, I heard Ava’s voice yelling from her room. “Hey, Ted! Can we get out now?”  
“No!” I yelled back.  
“But it’s been, like, a week!”  
“Too bad! Stay there, Ava!”  
“Okay.”  
I turned back to Chris. “Why aren’t you awake yet? It shouldn’t take this long. Come on, Chris! Wake up!”  
Then a horrifying thought raced through my head. Did I… did I kill him? “No, Chris, come on, show me you’re okay!” I pleaded.  
I checked his pulse, and I swear, I could feel my own heart stop for a second. I backed away slowly, and felt tears falling from my eyes. I didn’t try to stop them. I didn’t care.  
“No…” I whispered. “Please no… please no, Chris… Please don’t die!” I was yelling now. “CHRIS!”  
I ran over and started shaking him. He didn’t respond. “PLEASE, CHRIS! YOU CAN’T BE GONE! YOU’RE THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME SANE IN THIS MISERABLE WORLD!”  
I was weeping as I lay my head down on Chris’s chest. “Please don’t die,” I whispered in between sobs. “You’re the reason I’m still alive, Chris. Please don’t die, please don’t die, please don’t die,” I repeated this over and over, as if saying it enough would make it true.  
I tried to check if Chris was breathing, in vain, of course, but that didn’t stop my heart from sinking when I found that he wasn’t.  
I cried hysterically, and pressed my forehead onto his, which was stone cold. No, it was colder than ice.“NO, NO, NO!” I shouted, shaking my head furiously. “STOP JOKING AROUND, CHRIS! WAKE UP! PLEASE! Please!” I put my head in my hands. “Please, Chris, please don’t die.”  
Suddenly, I heard a voice from downstairs. It wasn’t Ava nor Aiden; it was my dad. “Hello? Anyone home?”  
“Dad!” I yelled. “HELP!” He was inside my room in a heartbeat.  
“Hey, Ted, what’s…” his eyes focused on Chris. “Oh.” Then he faced me, with a weird look on his face. “You bit him.”  
“NO SHIT!” I shouted in exasperation. Then I looked down and kept crying. “It… it was an accident… and… and…”  
My dad cut me off. “How long has he been like that?”  
I sniffed. “Longer than it should take.”  
“More than three hours?”  
I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to, because I hugged my dad and starting sobbing on him. I looked at the clock. 5:01. I cried harder.[am][an]  
My father held me and let me cry. For the first time in awhile, it felt nice. But it didn’t change anything.  
“Ted,” my father said gently. “He’s gone now, son.”  
“NO!” I refused. Chris was NOT dead. “It can’t be… it’s not possible.” I slammed my fists on the ground, as if wanting to get the attention of hell. “I am NOT going to lose my best friend like this!” I vowed.  
“I’m sorry, but… there’s nothing we can do anymore,” said my dad.  
I wanted to argue, protest, refuse for it to be true, but when I opened my mouth to say something, all that came out was a sob.  
“It’s my fault,” I cried. “It’s my fault.”  
“Don’t blame yourself,” said my dad, patting my back. “It’s not your fault.”  
“YES IT IS!” I yelled. “I bit him, I KILLED HIM!” I was in hysterics.  
“No, you couldn’t help it. You’re a vampire.”  
That sunk in. I was a vampire. I unwrapped myself from his arms. “Oh, yeah.” I looked at my father with deep contempt. “It’s your fault.” I shoved him away and cried. “I HATE YOU!” I screamed.  
My dad didn’t say anything. He let me cry for a while, before saying, “Listen, Ted, it’s okay. Sometimes, things happen for a reason.”  
I was indignant. “WHAT!? SO IT’S A GOOD THING HE DIED? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING?”  
“No, of course not,” my father looked away. “It’s just… at least he’s in a better place now.”  
I kept on crying. “What am I going to do, dad?” I was lost. I couldn’t live without Chris! He was the one person that I… I...  
I felt myself breaking down again, and then my father’s hand on my shoulder. “I have to leave now, son. Make sure to call me if you need anything.”  
I nodded my head, still in tears, but I couldn’t help remembering when he had tried to make Chris shoot me. That’s bipolarity for you.  
That incident… it was only a couple days ago that I was giving Chris a piggyback ride to his house. It seemed like years, decades. A lifetime ago. I simply couldn’t go on without Chris. I didn’t want to.  
The floor was wet with tears and blood. “So this is how it ends, huh,” I whispered to myself. “It’s over, isn’t it.”[ao]  
Hugging Chris’s body, I sobbed. I wasn’t leaving him. Ever.  
But then I noticed something. It was faint, and quiet but it was there. It was the most amazing sound in the world. It was the sound of Chris’s heart beating, putting life back into his body and mine.  
“CHRIS!” I yelled, wiping tears from my eyes, only to have more come out from sheer shock and happiness.  
I quickly leaned my head down. Chris was breathing again.  
“CHRIS! THIS... THIS ISN’T POSSIBLE!” Then I chided myself. Who the hell cares if it’s possible! It’s happening! Chris is okay!  
In that moment, Chris sat up suddenly, gasping for air. Then he doubled over and started coughing.  
I was so relieved that I felt like passing out.  
“CHRIS OH MY GOD YOU’RE ALIVE!” I shouted.  
“T-Ted?... What… what happened…?” asked Chris in between coughs.  
“YOU’RE OKAY!” I was too happy to answer his question, so instead I gave him a hug.  
“Ted... what happened?” The poor kid was so confused it was adorable. So I just couldn’t help it. Joy, relief, happiness, and something else fused together, and I leaned into Chris and kissed him. Yeah, on the lips. It was amazing. I had never done it before, ever. And I’m sorry if I’m rambling but I swear, it was the most magnificent sensation in the entire world. Every ounce of what had happened was suddenly worth it.CHRIS  
Ted pulled away and opened his eyes. I was pretty sure I looked completely starstruck, by which I mean there were stars in my eyes. I felt myself blushing uncontrollably, but Ted just smiled at me and messed up my hair and said, “You scared me, you goofball.”  
“Uh… uh-huh,” I muttered, still too surprised to form complete sentences. Then the little bomb of happiness that was inside of me went off, and I smiled uncontrollably back at Ted and looked down.  
We just did that for a little bit, smiled and blushed and hugged each other. I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened, but it was really nice.  
Then Ted got serious and said, “Don’t you ever do that again.”  
“What?” I said. I had no idea what had happened.  
“Look around!” said Ted. “Look around at how lucky you are to be alive right now!” Then he suddenly closed his mouth, like he regretted saying that.  
“Ted, what happened?” But I did look around, and I saw a puddle of something red surrounding us both. “Ted…” I said urgently. “WHY IS THERE BLOOD ON THE FLOOR!?”  
“It’s… it’s jam!” he said quickly. “Aiden dropped a jar of jam.”  
I wasn’t really naive enough to believe that, but I dropped it for now. “Oh.”  
Suddenly, Michael walked in, holding a bowl of watermelon. His eyes focused on me and he stopped, dropping the watermelon. Ted eyed it a little bit regretfully, which made me want to laugh.  
“C-Chris!” said Michael, startled. “You’re okay!” Then he ran over and tackled us both in a hug. “You goofballs.”  
I nudged Ted when I heard that. “The father’s genes are strong in this one,” I whispered playfully. He smiled and rolled his eyes.  
“I thought you were leaving,” said Ted, still enveloped in his dad’s hug.  
“I got kind of worried,” explained Michael. “I came back to check on you.” My mind was still spinning with unanswered question. Why would Ted need to be checked on? Why was Michael worried about Ted?”  
Michael hugged us for a little while longer, then got up and said, “Well, I do have to go now. And Ted…” he shot Ted a look. “Please don’t bite Chris again. Bye.” He walked out.  
Ted didn’t say anything, so I spoke up instead. “Bye!”  
I sat in an ignorant, euphoric silence for a few seconds before I realized what Michael had said. “Wait, YOU BIT ME!?” I turned, alarmed, to look at Ted for some answers.  
“Uhhh… yup,” Ted closed his eyes and blushed.  
“SO… I’M A VAMPIRE NOW?”  
Ted nodded. “Yup. Pretty much.”  
“SO DO I SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT OR DO I DIE?”  
“Um… no?”  
My face must’ve displayed disappointment, because Ted smirked and said, “You goofball. Are you seriously upset that you can’t sparkle?”  
I giggled, then looked up with stars in my eyes. “IT HAS BEEN MY DREAM, TED.”  
“Since when?”  
“Since I learned I was a vampire,” I responded, laughing.  
“It doesn’t work like that, Chris,” said Ted, smacking his forehead. I could still see a small smile on his face.  
“Ok, fine,” I said. “So I don’t sparkle. Do I fly?”  
“Chris, have you ever seen me fly?”  
“No…?”  
“Then what do you suppose that means for you?”  
“I CAN FLY!?”  
Ted sighed deeply. I don’t think he realized I was messing with him. Actually, come to think of it I don’t think I was messing with him, either. “No, Chris. You don’t fly.”  
“Aw, dang it!” I said in disappointment. “I was planning to try throwing Betty off a tall building…”  
“Wait, WHAT?”  
“Oops, um, nothing,” I said quickly.  
“Chris, you’re a psychopath.”  
“Thank you!”  
“That… that wasn’t a compliment…”  
“Maybe not, but I’m an optimist.”  
Ted looked up, like he was suddenly questioning his choice in best friends, but I saw a tiny grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.  
All of a sudden we heard a voice that was all too recognizable. “Chris, you stupid.”  
We turned our heads to see Ava and Aiden staring through the broken door (that we were probably going to have to fix at some point). Aiden was holding popcorn and so naturally, Ava had to match with a 32 ounce movie theater drink of soda.  
I perked my head up in mock appreciation. “Why thank you, Ava!”  
She gave me a look like I was something she had to scrape off the bottom of her shoe, so I continued, “How very nice of you to say!”  
She rolled her eyes.  
“Yeah, keep rolling your eyes, Ava,” I said. “Maybe you’ll find a brain back there someday.”  
Aiden looked indignant and ran over to kick me in the stomach, but I dodged it and Ted tripped him. I couldn’t help but laugh.  
Ava ran over to help Aiden up, who was really pissed now. He looked like he was gonna take another swing at Ted and I, but then Ava said, “Pfft. I have a brain, but it’s something you should probably invest in.” Then she pulled a 20 dollar bill out of her pocket and gave it to me. “Along with some better insults.”  
“Oooh, you got roasted, bro,” said Ted in my ear.  
“I DON’T CARE!” I yelled happily. “I’M NOT ARGUING WITH 20 DOLLARS!”AIDEN  
It goes without saying that I didn’t give a damn about Chris and his $20; it was probably more than he would ever have all at once in his lifetime, but I was pretty proud of Ava. She was an amazing little savage. Ava and I had perfected the art of facial communication. It took me one look in her eyes to convey that she felt the exact same way. Then she turned to Ted, who had somehow become my future father-in-law in about four days.  
“Anyways, Ted, can we go to the park?”  
“Why?” said Ted.  
“Because I feel like it,” said Ava, shrugging. “Seriously, you locked us in my room for, like, six hours. I AIN’T NO PRINCESS WHO’S GONNA BE LOCKED IN A MOTHERFUCKING TOWER!”  
“Ummm…”  
“Oh, well. At least you locked me in with my prince charming.” At this point she turned to me and started to kiss me, which was a really nice touch. I could practically feel Ted rolling his eyes in exasperation, but honestly I didn’t care. He was just jealous because he wasn’t doing the same with Chris.  
“So can we go?” asked Ava once more.  
“Absolutely not,” said Ted. “Not after that inappropriate display!”  
Ava smiled cruelly (Jesus Christ, the looks she could give) and said, “Okay, then. We’ll see if your Jeffmelons survive.”  
It was the most satisfying thing in the world to see the look of horror and disgust on Ted’s face. I felt like I was actually seeing the argument he was having with himself.  
Then Ava pulled out a mallet, and I saw who was going to win. Ted gritted his teeth. “Fine.”  
“YESSS!” squealed Ava, and she gave me a hug.  
“But Chris is coming with us,” clarified Ted.  
“Oh, yeah of course,” I said in innocence. Then I got a cruel smile, or at least as close as I could get to Ava’s. “Your boyfriend should come too.”  
“ARRGH!” yelled Ted, jumping to his feet. He covered his face with his hands, but I could still tell he was blushing. “Just get in the car.”  
Ava and I ran into Ted’s van, giggling.  
“Well, he didn’t deny it,” I whispered into Ava’s ear once we were safely inside. I looked out the window and saw Chris’s face, and I could tell that he was thinking the exact same thing.  
* * *  
We had only been in the park for about 10 minutes before Ava turned to me and asked, “Aiden, do you think I should dye my hair?”  
“Huh? Oh, YEAH! Totally!”  
“Good. I think so, too,” she said, and smiled that smile of hers. Then she turned away and yelled, “Hey, Ted!”  
“What?” responded Ted, seemingly a bit annoyed. It made sense; he was talking to Chris.  
“Ted, take me to the salon!” commanded Ava.  
“Wait, now?” I asked.  
“What? No way! Why do you even want to go there? said Ted, incredulous.  
“To dye my hair! I’m thinking an ombre blue?”  
“Hell no. Coming here is already pushing it.”  
“WHY NOT? Your hair is dyed. Chris’s hair is dyed. EVERYONE’S HAIR IS DYED!” This was not exactly true, but I didn’t want to intrude, and Ava paused to mouth sorry to me anyway. “I wanna dye my hair too!”  
I’m not sure what made Ted change his mind: the prospect of having a pissed-off daughter that could potentially kill his Jeffmelons, or possibly the fact that she was looking up to him somehow.  
“Okay, fine.”  
“YAY!” Ava turned to me and gave me a kiss. “I’ll be back in a bit,” she said. “I’ll buy us some ice cream from that little shop on the way back.”  
“Okay,” I said. “Have fun!” I was a bit surprised that Ava was being so decisive, but then again, I had to remember that this was my girlfriend that we were talking about. She was impulsive… and that was one of the reasons I loved her.  
“Thank you, sweetie!” she called back.  
I couldn’t stop a grin. She was hot as hell.  
* * *  
“Chrisss…” I whined. “How long does it take to dye your hair?”  
Ava had been gone for hours. Chris wasn’t exactly what I’d call a playmate, and besides, he had been playing with Foofy this entire time. I didn’t mind that Ava had gone to dye her hair; I was happy as long as she was happy. But it was really boring without her.  
“A long time, actually,” he responded, still looking down and grooming Foofy. “You need to bleach it first, and it takes longer if your hair is longer…”  
“When is she coming back?” I asked, slumping down on a bench.  
“I’m not sure, but I’m going to go get some fish ice cream.”  
“Freak,” I said. Chris was staring at the ice cream truck that had just arrived. I wanted some too, but I remembered that Ava promised that she would bring some for us on her way back. I knew which ice cream shop she was talking about. It was the best ice cream in the world. It totally beat an ice cream truck. “HAVE FUN SETTLING FOR THE PEASANT’S GRADE ICE CREAM!”  
He didn’t look back. He was already pushing to get to the front of the line. I leaned my chin on my hands and sulked. How much longer was it going to take?  
Then something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I looked up.  
“Thank goodness you’re back, Ava! I missed you,” I said. She looked really amazing. Her hair was completely dyed a shiny teal color. I didn’t think that she was capable of looking better than she already did, but Jesus Christ, she was a knockout. Somehow her hair even looked longer than before. It occurred to me that she wasn’t carrying any ice cream, but her arrival was already enough of a present.  
“You look beautiful,” I said, and she giggled.  
“Thank you,” she said sitting next to me. “I missed you too, it was too long that we were apart.”  
There was something in my gut that felt like… I don’t even know. She just seemed different for some reason.  
It’s just her new hair color, I told myself. There was no one in the world who was as pretty as Ava. I looked into her eyes and everything faded away. I leaned in for a kiss.  
Then a shrill scream broke the quiet.  
“AIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!”  
Ava kissed me, but for some reason it felt weird. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but I turned my head up to see what was going on and saw… Ava.  
“Hi Ava!” I said innocently. She looked indignant, and it took me a moment to wonder what the hell was going on. She just stared at me as her face turned redder and redder. Her fist curled around the big waffle cone that she was holding. Suffice to say it, I was confused. I thought I had just… kissed her?  
“Um… wait. Ava? There’s…” I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I was hallucinating. I looked to the Ava that was standing to make sure she was still there. She was. So was the Ava that had just kissed me. What the heck? “There’s TWO of you… Whaaaat…?” Actually, there was ONE difference between their appearances: the Ava that was standing had darker blue hair.  
“THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” I couldn’t tell if Blue Hair Ava was talking to me or Teal Hair Ava.  
I took the liberty to respond, since at that moment she was looking at me. “Um… I… don’t know, actually…?”  
Blue Hair Ava’s eye was twitching.  
“Why are there two Avas?” I was confused. “WHO IS THE REAL ONE? WHAT THE HECK I AM SO CONFUSED.”  
AVA  
“Me, OBVIOUSLY!” It wasn’t me who said that. I could barely see straight through my rage, let alone talk. It was the little shit that had the nerve to kiss my boyfriend who said that. Goddamn, I was fucking PISSED. And then she made it worse. “I’M infinitely prettier than this STREET RAT!”  
Oh no. She. Didn’t.  
“Aiden, it’s me!” I pleaded. “That little BITCH is…”  
And then she kissed Aiden. On the lips. I saw red.  
“OH, IT IS ON!” I yelled, running straight towards her and tackling her to the ground. She retaliated by kicking me, so I punched her ugly face.  
“Um… WHAT IS HAPPENING!?” Poor Aiden was so confused. I felt sorry for him, even though I was a bit mad at him too. Oh well. Explanations would come later. Right now I had to get my guy back.  
I grabbed Aiden’s right arm, so naturally my wannabe grabbed his left.  
“HE IS MINE!” she yelled. “YOU WEREN’T HERE WHEN I FOUND HIM!”  
I couldn’t believe it. She had known him for about five minutes. “UM, EXCUSE ME, BUT HE’S MY BOYFRIEND!”  
“OW!” yelled Aiden. Oops. I had forgotten that we were using him as our tug-of-war rope. I let go.  
“Sorry, sweetie,” I said. The other girl opened her mouth, but then I slapped her face and shoved her away from Aiden.  
We started wrestling on the floor. I fought like a tiger, summoning all of the anger that I felt towards this little ass. I grabbed the collar of her dress and was about to knock her into oblivion and out of my love life when I heard someone yelling.  
It was Ted, holding a cone of watermelon ice cream. “AVA! What are you DOING?! LET GO OF HER THIS INSTANT. You’d better have a good explanation for this, young lady, because I have no idea WHAT is going on…!”  
The little bitch took this opportunity to snap away from me and fall on the ground, pretending to be hurt and crying crocodile tears. “I… I was just getting ice cream,” she whined in between sobs. “And then she… she tackled me and…. and… knocked my ice cream to the floor!”  
“What?!” I said loudly, but she was louder.  
“IT’S... ON THE FLOOR! WAAAAAAAH!” She was having a freaking tantrum now. Oh, how I hated her.  
“AVA!” yelled Ted. “YOU CAN’T JUST BEAT UP RANDOM PEOPLE!”  
“But I… I…” What could I say? Anything that came out of my mouth would just be used against me. I needed a witness. “I am innocent! Aiden, tell him what happened!”  
Aiden still looked really confused, but he said, “Um, Ava didn’t do anything wrong… she was just defending herself.”  
I gave him a grateful look and noted that Chris was now coming our way, holding a cone of… fish ice cream? That freak.  
“I am SO sorry for anything that my daughter has done to you,” said Ted, looking at the little baby that was crying on the floor. It was pathetic. Then he turned to me and demanded, “Ava, APOLOGIZE. NOW.”  
I couldn’t. I was pretty sure that if the words “I’m sorry” came out of my mouth I would probably end up puking. I was just disgusted. So instead, I yelled at the top of my lungs, “HEY, THANKS A LOT, SAPPHIRE!”  
I was about to call her some less agreeable names (I didn’t care about being punished at this point), but then Ted yelled,  
“WAIT, YOU KNOW HER?”  
“Wait, um, what exactly is going on here?” Chris had that same confused look that Aiden had had. The only thing so far that showed me that they were related.  
“YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS!?” yelled Ted, again, as if he hadn’t been loud enough the first time.  
“Unfortunately, yes, she’s my twin sister,” I said, sulking.  
This next bit was yelled in unison by Ted, Chris, and MY boyfriend, “SHE’S YOUR SISTER?”  
“Yes!” I insisted.  
Ted still looked confused when he asked again, “You two are RELATED?”  
I gave him an exasperated look. “Yes, Ted, do you need me to draw you a freaking picture? We look EXACTLY the same…”  
“Except I have longer teal hair and I’m prettier!” interrupted Sapphire.  
“You shut your trap!” I said, pointing the middle finger at her shamelessly. She deserved it!  
Ted shot me a death look, but then turned to Sapphire. “Wait… where are your parents?”  
I had forgotten that my parents were dead. I smiled, because I never mattered to them. But Sapphire was their favorite… and now that they were gone, well, she wasn’t exactly spoiled anymore.  
So naturally, it came as a big shock to me when Sapphire turned, pointed to the ice cream cart, and said, “They’re over there, buying me ice cream.”  
Yeah. She was right. My rotten parents were right there, paying for an extra-large cone of strawberry ice cream. They started to walk over. I was completely in awe. What was going on here?  
So was Ted. “Wait… but I… I thought they were dead…”  
Sapphire chuckled. I wanted to slap that little face of hers. “Oh, is that what they had you losers thinking?”  
My mother and father had reached us by now. “Why hello there,” said my mom. No, she wasn’t my mom anymore. She was just Bonnie. “You must be Ava’s new step dad, Ted.”  
“I thought… um… CHRIS, EXPLAIN THIS!” Chris was at just as much as a loss.  
“Oh heavens, don’t worry. It’s not his fault that he was stupid enough to believe that. We just decided to ditch Ava because she was such a bother.”  
“SEE!?” I shouted. “THEY HATE ME!” I didn’t even want to look at my former parents. I hated them. They were now dead to me, if not physically. They had abandoned me. I was just their problem.[ap][aq]  
“But you can’t just… abandon your child like that!”  
Bonnie crossed her arms and jutted out her hips. That’s where I got my sass from, apparently. Then she looked right at Ted, and said, “Well I. JUST. DID.”  
Ted looked a little bit incredulous, and a little bit mad. He opened his mouth, but then Bonnie said, “Taking care of Ava is way too much of a hassle. It’s like giving a bath to a cat… such a difficult creature.”  
I shot a look at Chris, and just as I thought, his face was red with anger. “Hey! Cats aren’t…”  
Then Aiden interrupted him, with something definitely worth saying.  
“How could you ever abandon such a beautiful and amazing young lady?” he asked, indignant. Then he shot me a quick wink. I’ll admit that I felt my heart warm up at that. Aiden was loyal to me… he was standing up for my honor. What a fine gentleman that I had!  
My mother wrinkled her nose at him. “Oh, you must be her new… brother.”  
Aiden turned a little red, and said, “Um, yeah… you could say that… Well, actually…”  
“Nevermind that. You must be the new mother.” This time she was looking at Chris. I had to stifle a giggle, because Chris was definitely blushing.  
“Well… Uhhh…”  
“Yes, she’s the mother,” Ted interrupted, and Chris started grinning uncontrollably like the freak that he is.  
“Well then, we should get going. I wouldn’t want to spoil any of your plans,” said Bonnie.  
“Okay. It was nice meeting you,” said Ted, in a tone that said the exact opposite.  
“Goodbye, sister dearest,” said Sapphire to me, smiling cruelly.  
“Fuck off, you little shit,” I said in return. I wanted to give her a good beating, but Bonnie and Ted had me outnumbered.  
“The feeling is mutual,” she said in a hushed whisper.  
Then Bonnie spoke up again. “So long, dumbbell. And good luck.”  
“Wait, did she just…” said Ted, as she was walking away.  
“Yep,” I said.  
“Hmmph. I don’t think I like your mom that much. Um, no offense…”  
“She is not my mom,” I said, looking away. I meant it. I hoped that I never had to see Bonnibel’s face again.  
“Chris is my mom now.” I smiled, because it made them both blush really hard. Ted gave me a look, again.  
“What?” I said. “You said it, not me!”TED  
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” I asked, walking Ava sashay across the living room where I was watching the news. There was a big triumphant smile on her face.  
A week had passed since the incident at the park. I had let Ava get away without punishment, but only because I felt a little bad about her family and her place in it… or out of it. Things had been really peaceful since then, actually… compared to what had happened before then, at least.  
Ava and Aiden had been spending every free moment with each other, and somehow managed to weasel out of school this whole time. I did feel a bit stupid when I fell for when Ava faked sick. I should’ve known better, but she was actually a really good actress. No wonder she was able to get away with so many things.  
Today was Friday afternoon. Ava and Aiden’s school was celebrating some obscure holiday, so she had the day off. Aiden was being dragged off to someplace, so she had been bored all day long. I guessed that the reason for her good mood was that he was finally back.  
“Is Aiden coming over to visit you?” I asked.  
“What? Oh, yeah, that too.”  
I was going to ask what she meant, but then she flopped down on the couch with me and asked, “Why are you watching old people shows?”  
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, a bit exasperated. “Maybe because I want to know what’s going on in the world?”  
“Oooh, look! There was a murder!” she said excitedly. “Let me see that bloody crime scene!”  
“Oooh, look! I have a psychopath for a daughter!”  
“I’m a vampire, Ted! You made me into one, what do you expect? Now turn up the volume, I want to know what happened.”  
I wasn’t sure if this made me a bad father, but I did as she commanded and let her educate herself about a homicide incident.  
“Breaking news,” barked the TV. “We have received a report that two dead bodies were found: one female, and one unidentified male.”  
Then they showed some images.  
“Holy SHIT!” Ava and I said in unison… probably for the exact same reason, too.  
“The female was named Bonnibel, known as Bonnie. The male’s name is unknown, but assumed to be her husband.”  
Then the TV powered off suddenly. There had been blackouts on and off all day long. It didn’t matter. We had heard enough… the people that had been murdered were Ava’s (former) parents.  
“Are… are they… really dead?” Ava squeaked in a small voice. It occurred to me that Ava seemed like she hated them after all they had done to her, but they were still her birth parents, and she had still lost some family members.  
I decided to be sympathetic “It’s okay if you want to cr-”  
“WOO HOO!” she yelled, throwing her hands into the air and jumping off of the couch. “YESSS! MY HITMAN ACTUALLY SUCCEEDED!”  
“Wait… wait, hold on,” I was trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened. “You… you asked for this?”  
“I didn’t ask for it, I PLANNED it!” she shouted, smiling like a maniac. “Who else would’ve done it?”[ar]  
“O...oh.”  
“COME ON! LET’S GO GET SOME ICE CREAM! THIS DESERVES A CELEBRATION!” she declared, hauling me off the couch.  
“Oh… u-um, okay.” It should be noted that I was completely in shock of my daughter in this moment, and actually quite a bit terrified, too. She really was a little psychopath.  
Then the door opened. It was Chris and Aiden.  
“AVA!” yelled Aiden. “Hi!”  
“HI AIDEN!” she responded, running over and kissing him. After they were done kissing and making the rest of us feel awkward, she said, “I missed you so much!”  
Oh please, I thought. You were apart for eight hours.  
“Me, too,” said Aiden, kissing her again. “But guess what I heard?”  
“MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!” shouted Ava, in complete ecstasy.  
“You heard!” said Aiden. “Congratulations, Ava!”  
“Thanks, you’re such a sweetheart!” At this point they started making out again, so I turned to Chris and said,  
“We were going to go get ice cream. Do you want to come?”  
“Sure!” said Chris.  
“Cool. Okay, you two, break it up, let’s go.”

CHRIS  
We had only been walking for a few blocks when I heard someone crying. It sounded like it was coming from the alley (you know, the one where I may or may not have shot Michael).  
“Hold up,” I said. “Do you hear that?”  
“Somebody’s crying,” said Ted.  
Ava had a weird look on her face. “I’m sure it’s nothing, come on, let’s just go!”  
“Wait,” I said, starting to walk towards the alley. Sure enough, there was someone crying… and it was Sapphire, Ava’s twin sister.  
I thought I heard Ava mutter, “Shit,” but I ignored her and sat down next to Sapphire.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked, even though I already had a pretty good idea.  
“My… my parents,” she sobbed. “This is where it happened. They… they were killed… I don’t have anyone else now… I guess I’m an orphan.”[as]  
Suddenly, I had an idea. “Oh, you won’t be an orphan for long,”[at] I said, and smiled, hoping she would get the hint.  
“Is… is Ted going to adopt me, too?”  
“OH, HELL NO!” yelled Ted, from where he was watching with Aiden and Ava. “IT’S YOUR TURN, CHRIS!”  
“Okay. I’M going to adopt you.”  
“Yay!” Sapphire jumped up and clapped her hands. I smiled, knowing that I did something good, but I could tell that someone else was looking at me. It was Ava. Her eyes were cold and sullen. They were also sending a message. I really hate you for this, they said. I wouldn’t do it if I were you… you’ve been warned. I wondered why she hated Sapphire so much.  
“Come on, let’s go take her to get ice cream! We’re all going there anyways,” I said.  
“NO,” said Ava, firmly. “She is NOT coming.”  
“Oh please, Ava, she’s your sister,” said Ted.  
“NO, she is NOT,” retorted Ava. Ted ignored her.  
“Fine, she can come, but you’re paying for her, Chris, since she’s YOUR daughter now.”  
“Deal,” I said, and we went off to buy some ice cream.  
* * *  
“Thank you for the delicious ice cream, father,” said Sapphire as we walked back to the house.  
Ava had been shooting her dirty looks the whole time, ever since I declared that I was going to adopt her.  
“Um, you’re welcome,” I said. I wasn’t used to being such manners. “You can call me Chris, actually.”  
“Oh, of course, Chris,” she responded.  
“Oh, shoot!” I said, because I realized something when I got to my house. “I… actually don’t have a guest room… well, anymore, anyways.” I looked to Ted, though I doubted that he was going to help me on this one.  
I was right. “Hell no, Chris, I ALREADY DEAL WITH ONE!”  
“Okay, then…” I thought for a bit. “You can sleep with Aiden.”  
I had barely finished my sentence when I heard Ava shriek. “WHAT? CAN’T SHE SLEEP WITH YOU CHRIS…?!”  
“No, that would be kinda weird,” I said.  
“Yeah, it would,” chimed in Sapphire, and I could see Ava clench her jaw. Her fists were shaking.  
“BUT YOU’RE HER DAD!” she protested.  
Suddenly Ted’s face lit up. “Hey Ava, you’re grounded for the day.”  
“WHAT?! WHY?”  
“What do you think?” responded Ted. “For beating up Sapphire! You’re not allowed to look at, visit, listen to, or do ANYTHING with Aiden.”  
Dang, he blocked all of the loopholes, I thought. He’s learning fast.  
Ava and Aiden screamed in unison, and shouted, “WHAT?! THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!!!” They were yelling at the top their lungs.  
“Make it a week because of that tantrum.”  
“A WEEK?”  
“A week.”  
Ava started to cry and flopped down on the floor. “THAT’S NOT FAIR! THAT’S NOT FAIR!”  
In a way, I agreed with her, but I couldn’t really blame Ted. She could be a little monster when she felt like it.  
Ted slapped his forehead. “Ava, please stop…”  
“Oh please, it’s just a week,” said Sapphire.  
Ava jumped up and pointed the finger at Sapphire when she said that. “YOU SHUT THAT LITTLE DUMBASS MOUTH OF YOURS, SAPPHIRE! I HATE YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Then she hissed at her.  
“Get away from me!” yelled Sapphire. “What are you, a cat?”  
“AAAAARRRRGH! HISSSSS!” screamed Ava, trying unsuccessfully to scratch her. “ONE MORE STUPID REMARK AND I’LL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”  
“That’s enough, Ava,” said Ted sternly, pulling her away from Sapphire. “Chill. Out.”  
Ava turned to Ted, fire burning in her eyes. “DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!”  
“Excuse me, but I’m your father, little missy.”  
Ava was red in the face and looked on the verge of exploding. Instead she let out a scream of rage, and fell to the ground.AIDEN  
“Ava!” I yelled, rushing to her side and catching her just as she touched to floor.  
“Oh, great,” remarked Ted. “She passed out due to her high pressure. What next?”  
“Oh, Ava…” I said, cradling her head.  
“She’ll be fine,” assured Ted. “But I should probably take her home.”  
“Sounds good,” said Chris, somehow keeping a placid and calm smile on his face.  
“Okay,” I said. “Feel better, Ava.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Ted looked at me angrily.  
“Hey!”  
“What?! You didn’t give ME any unfair punishments!” I lowered my voice. “You didn’t block all of the loopholes.  
Ted narrowed his eyes and let out a huff, but he let it go and picked up Ava. I watched them until they were almost out of sight… then I heard Sapphire. I had forgotten about her.  
“Well, at least that’s over,” she said indifferently. Then she grabbed my arm. I tried to pull away, but she held on tight.  
“What are you doing?” I asked, still struggling to pull my arm free.  
“You’re mine now,” she said and smiled icily. With her free hand, she reached into her pocket and pulled out some… handcuffs?  
“Oh no you don’t,” I said quickly. “I am TAKEN.”  
She giggled, latching my squirming hand into the cuff. “Not anymore.”  
I groaned. “Oh, shit, I am in so much trouble with Ava… Damn this…” I muttered.  
Sapphire giggled louder, latching her hand into the other cuff. “Oh, is that so? Good luck with that, sweetie.”  
Suddenly I thought of something. “Hang on, how did you-” I stopped in mid-sentence, because Sapphire kissed my cheek, shutting me up immediately. I hated myself.  
I sighed and resigned myself to the torture that was yet to come, covering my face with a hand so that Sapphire couldn’t see that I was blushing. “What am I going to do with you?”  
“Love me,” said Sapphire, winking. “And break up with Ava. She isn’t worth you.”  
“Ugh, no way,” I said, gritting my teeth. I might’ve thought that Sapphire was pretty, but I was loyal to Ava!  
“Come on,” urged Sapphire. “I’m ten times better than that STREET RAT!”  
“Don’t call her that!” I said defensively.  
Sapphire smiled wickedly. “But it’s true.”  
I turned to Chris, who had been completely oblivious this entire time. “Chris…” I whined. “Help me please…!”  
We had been walking home this whole time.  
Chris just rolled his eyes and smiled. “Oh, please, we’re almost home.”  
“Jerk,” I muttered.  
“Aw, come on sweetie,” said Sapphire, leaning her head close to mine. “Don’t be like that.”  
I groaned, because I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to hold out. “Please, just leave me alone. Why can’t you be nice and leave me alone?”  
“I am never nice,” responded Sapphire.  
“I can’t take it much longer,” I mumbled, probably a bit too loudly, because then Sapphire said,  
“What can’t you take? That I’m much prettier than the street rat? That you can do so much better than her?”  
“Yes,” I said, before I could stop myself. God, I hated myself so much. “I-I mean NO! UGGGGHHHH SHIT I’M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!”  
“I knew it,” said Sapphire, smiling. Then she kissed my cheek.  
I groaned again, and covered my face with my hand, because I was blushing really hard. I heard Sapphire giggle.  
“We’re here!” announced Chris. For once I was glad for the interruption.  
“Finally!” I said, dashing to my room.  
“I have reached an escape!” I announced, opening the door, only to find that Sapphire was sitting on my bed.  
“Oh yeah,” she said, a devilish grin on her face. “Escape from Ava.”  
“Uh, what the hell! Why are you here and HOW DID YOU TELEPORT?”  
“We share a room now, sweetie,” she reminded me.  
“Oh shit,” I said. “CHRISSS!”  
“What?” he said, poking his head into my room.  
“Can Sapphire PLEASE sleep on the couch?” I begged.  
“No,” said Chris. “She’s our guest… she deserves to be comfortable, so she’s sleeping with you.”  
“Please! I feel like I’m cheating on Ava. I hate this.” I paused to look at Sapphire, who had this sneaky seductive grin on her face.  
“It won’t be cheating if you break up with her,” she pointed out.  
I made an incredulous face. “I’M NOT GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HER!” I yelled. I was trying to resist, but as much as I hated to admit it, I felt myself slipping. WHY DID SAPPHIRE HAVE TO BE SUCH A REBEL?  
“We’ll see,” mumbled Sapphire, just loud enough for me to hear.  
“Can you just stop, please?” I said.  
“MAKE ME,” she said cockily. “Try and make me Aiden… I’d like to see you fail.”  
I wasn’t going to win. “PLEASE,” I begged, pretty much tossing out my last shred of dignity. “Have mercy.”  
“No way,” said Sapphire.  
I sighed. What could I do? “Fine,” I said submissively. There was really nothing else to do. I was flipping in love.  
Sapphire was slightly taken by surprise. “Fine… what? You… you give up?”  
I was screaming and kicking myself internally, but all I could manage to do on the outside was blush.  
“Y-yeah… I give up,” I felt horrible, but I couldn’t help it. I was in Sapphire’s hands now.  
Sapphire changed her tone and smiled sweetly. “I knew you would fail,” she said, kissing my cheek.  
I gently pushed her away. “Not right now…” I said absently. “I’m not in the mood.”  
“Oh, don’t be like that,” said Sapphire gently, putting her hand on my arm. “Everything is going to be better.”  
“I… I highly doubt that,” I said, but then I looked into her eyes and couldn’t stop myself from blushing.  
“Don’t worry,” said Sapphire sweetly. She hugged me. I let her.  
“Don’t touch me,” I said in vain. “It only reminds me of Ava…” I felt hot tears in my eyes. It should be said that I was regretting everything at this point. I was a horrible person… a horrible person…  
“Shhh… Forget her...” whispered Sapphire. “It’ll get better.”  
I started crying on her, and cursing myself for doing it. But she sure knew how to comfort me.  
“Oh sweetie… don’t cry…” At this point Sapphire took her cardigan off and wrapped it around me. It was warm. I finally let myself give in. I hugged her back, and finally stopped crying.  
“Thanks,” I said, wiping away my tears.  
“Don’t worry. Everything will be the same. You’ll be okay.”  
“Do you want to go to bed?” I asked. I wasn’t sure about her, but I was completely exhausted.  
“Yeah. I think we deserve a nap.”  
* * *  
I woke up in my bed, but Sapphire was nowhere to be seen. I checked the clock. It was morning and… I smelled something. Was that… chocolate?  
“Sapphire!” I called, getting out of bed. “Where are you?”  
I wandered into the kitchen, where the smell of chocolate was the strongest, and found Sapphire, crouching over the oven.  
“What are you doing?” I asked.  
“Oh, you know,” she said, pulling out a tray of fresh chocolate chip muffins from the oven. “Baking.”  
“Wow. What is all of this?”  
“Well, you seemed kind of down, so I thought maybe something sweet would help,” she responded, setting the tray down on the table.  
“Heh. Well, that was nice of you. Thanks.”  
“Of course,” said Sapphire sweetly. “Go ahead and dig in. I’ll get us some milk.”  
I bit into one. Boy, they were AMAZING. They were chewy and crispy and incredibly sweet. I couldn’t believe it. This was now officially my new favorite food.  
I wolfed down about three of them before pausing. “These are really good,” I said, my mouth stuffed with chocolate goodness. “You know, Ava never baked for me,” I noted.  
“See,” said Sapphire, smiling. “I told you I was better than that little street rat!”  
I was silent for a second. Spending more and more time with Sapphire was making me start to agree with that statement…  
“Well… I wouldn’t say that…” I said politely.  
Then Chris walked in. “Whoa! What is that heavenly smell?”  
“Chocolate!” I replied. “Sapphy made some chocolate chip muffins!”  
“Sapphy?” asked Chris. Oops. I think I just made a pet name for her. Luckily Sapphire interrupted.  
“Would you like some, father?” she asked.  
“You can call me Chris,” he reminded her. He probably wasn’t used to such proper language. Makes sense. After all, he had me as a brother.  
Then my mom walked in.  
“Smells good. What’s cooking?” then she noticed Sapphire. “Hold on… did Ava dye her hair?”  
“OH, YEAH,” Chris intruded. “UM, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT THIS IS MY DAUGHTER SAPPHIRE! I’M… GOING TO ADOPT HER. Heh, heh…”  
Chris smiled widely, but it was evident that my mom wasn’t going to like this new development.  
“No,” she said with finality. “Chris, you’re only seventeen, and we have absolutely NO space to spare.”  
“But mom…” started Chris.  
“I said no,” she responded. “And that’s final.”  
“But who’s going to take care of her?” asked Chris.  
My mom shrugged indifferently. “It’s not my problem.” Ha ha, well, now you know what kind of person she is.  
Chris sighed, then turned to Sapphire, who looked crestfallen. “Okay. Come on Sapphy. Let’s go find you some new parents.”  
Sapphire looked down, but followed Chris outside. I was still at the table for a few moments before I ran outside. “WAIT!” I yelled.  
Chris and Sapphire turned around, and I hugged Sapphire.  
“Thanks for being there for me,” I said.  
Sapphire laughed halfheartedly. “You’re welcome. Bye, Aiden.”  
“Bye,” I said. “Laughy Sapphy.” Then she really laughed, and I smiled.CHRIS  
I held Sapphire’s hand as we made our way to Ted’s house. I seriously doubted that he was going to help, but…  
I must’ve been too lost in my own thoughts to notice a bump in the sidewalk, because I tripped over it and face planted.  
“Ow…” I muttered, picking myself back up. Then I heard a familiar voice.  
“HA HA, YOU CLUMSY DORK!” Aw crap. It was Betty.  
I got up and looked her in the eye. “Says the one who almost died the last time we fought,” I said smugly.  
“Says the one who KISSED ME,” she retorted, color leaping into her face. I was blushing too.  
“THAT WAS A FLIPPING ACCIDENT!” I shouted.  
A smile crept into her face. “Yeah right.”  
I opened my mouth to protest, but Betty beat me to it. “Anyways, who is this little child?” she asked, looking at Sapphire.  
I didn’t make a habit of asking favors of my enemies, but what did I have to lose? “Oh, well… she actually has no home, so I was wondering…”  
“Sure, I’ll adopt her.”  
Oh wow. I thought. That was easy.  
“But first…” said Betty, crouching down so she could talk to Sapphire at eye level. “What’s your name?”  
“Um… Sapphire,” she said, a bit shyly.  
“Do you like cats or dogs?”  
“Dogs!” replied Sapphire. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Sapphire continued, “Cats suck! They’re so weak!”  
I wanted to scream, WHY DID I EVER WANT TO ADOPT YOU!?[au] but I decided that she was going to be Betty’s problem now, so I held my tongue.  
I saw a tear of happiness fall down Betty’s ugly face. “YOU’RE… YOU’RE PERFECT!” she exclaimed, hugging Sapphire affectionately. “MINE!”  
“Oh brother,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.  
“So you’re my mom?” asked Sapphire happily.  
“Yup,” declared Betty.  
I decided that it was best that I detach myself from the moment at this point, so I said, “Welp, um, that was quick… Anyways, I’m super busy and I have to go now so…”  
“Oh, you’re not going anywhere until you answer me…” said Betty.  
“I think I am!” I announced, turning around. Then I heard a click, and a metal cage came out of nowhere and trapped me inside.  
I couldn’t believe this.  
Sapphire was staring in amazement. “Whoa… If I do this will I get in trouble?” she asked Betty.  
“Oh no,” replied Betty. “I would be very proud of you.”  
Sapphire smiled icily. “Good.”  
“Betty… let me go!” I whined.  
She ignored me and turned to Sapphire instead. “Sapphy… go to Ted’s house for now,” she said.  
“Okay!” responded Sapphire, running down to Ted’s front door.  
Then Betty turned to me. “Admit it, Chris,” she said, grinning sneakily and raising an eyebrow.  
“WHAT? NO! Never!” I retorted, blushing.  
“JUST ADMIT IT!” she commanded. “Come on, Chris!  
I sighed and looked down. “FINE,” I said harshly.  
“Fine, WHAT?”  
“I ADMIT IT, OKAY?”  
“Admit WHAT?” asked Betty.  
“THAT CATS ARE WORSE THAN DOGS!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “There, I SAID IT.”  
Betty gave me a cruel smile. “I knew I could break you.” I looked down submissively. “RAISE THE CAGE!” she commanded.  
As soon as the cage was raised, I slipped out and looked down with my hands behind my back as Betty laughed in my face.  
“I have one more thing to admit, Betty,” I said.  
“Yeah? What is it?” she said smugly.  
“PSYCHE!” I yelled, whipping out my hands to reveal my crossed fingers. Now it was my turn to laugh. “YOU IDOT!”  
Betty huffed. “It’s IDIOT, IDIOT!”  
“Ha, ha!” I laughed, run-walking backwards and making faces at Betty.  
“Very mature.”  
I stuck my tongue out and rolled my eyes playfully, right before tripping again… probably due to the fact that I was going backwards.  
“HAHAHAHA, YOU CLUMSY DORK!” Betty pointed and laughed.  
“I might be clumsy, but I still have my dignity,” I responded, picking myself up and standing up tall. It might’ve only been a couple inches, but I was glad that I could tower over Betty.  
Betty rolled her eyes. “Pffft, yeah right.”  
I made a pissed-off face at her.  
“Ha, ha!”  
That’s when Ted’s front door opened, and Ted yelled, in a half playful and half annoyed voice, “YOU LOVE BIRDS DONE MAKING OUT, OR WHAT?”  
Ordinarily, I would’ve screamed, or puked, but I was in too much shock.  
“TED!” I yelled. “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”  
“Spending too much time with Ava,” he responded way too casually.  
“No… what happened to-”  
“HE CHANGED!” yelled Ava, poking her head out. “HELP!”  
I kept staring, because Ted’s hair was now completely dyed red, with black dots scattered randomly that resembled… seeds?  
“I AM A WATERMELON NOW,” he declared proudly.  
“WHAT?!” I ran over and started stroking Ted’s hair. “YOUR HAIR! YOUR PRECIOUS, NEON GREEN HAIR…!”  
Ted suddenly doubled over and started to laugh.  
“WHAT’S SO FUNNY!?” I demanded.  
“Psyche!” said Ted, and Ava jumped up and poured a bucket of water on his head. I am happy to report that the new color drained out immediately, while revealing that Ted still had his green hair underneath.  
He and Ava started to crack up, and gave each other high fives.  
I punched Ted lightly on the arm. “THANK GOD!” I exclaimed, relieved. “IT LOOKED AWFUL!”  
Ted got serious. “What did you say?”  
“Ummm… I have good news and bad news!” I announced.  
“Tell me both,” said Ted.  
“Sapphire got adopted by Betty!” I said.  
“Oh. What’s the bad news?”  
“That is the bad news,” I said. “The good news, too.” At this point, Sapphire poked her head out from underneath Ava, which made her scream.  
“HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?” she yelled.  
“I have my ways,” responded Sapphire, running over to Betty and giving her a hug. Betty smiled proudly.  
Ava rolled her eyes. “Wait, Chris… where’s Aiden?”  
“Oh, he’s still at my…”  
I didn’t even have time to finish my sentence before she was at my door. Jesus Christ, she really is crazy for him.AVA  
“AIDEN!” I yelled, rushing into Chris’s house. “WHERE ARE YOU?” I had escaped punishment by helping Ted with his little prank, so I am happy to report that I was once again able to see my boyfriend.  
“UP HERE!” I heard Aiden’s beautiful voice. My heart was flipping melting. “In my room!”  
I threw the door open and then rushed into Aiden’s open arms. He kissed my forehead, then we started to make out. We were in each other’s embrace for a few moments before I said, “I missed you so much!”  
“I missed you too,” said Aiden, kissing me again. “It was pure torture without you.”  
AIDEN  
Ava gave me a sweet smile, and I remembered why I was dating her. I felt pretty guilty, but all I was thinking was, She must never know.[av][aw]  
I pulled her in close and started to play with her hair. What is past is past, I thought, thinking about the whole Sapphire incident. Now I have to think about the future. And I knew that Ava was going to be my future.

AVA  
“Come on, let’s do something together,” said Aiden, holding my hand. “Let’s play some B.O.S.C.”  
“Sounds good,” I said. Then I thought of something. “But first, I have to go make something. It might take a while.”  
Aiden seemed disappointed, but he smiled and said, “Okay, sunshine.[ax][ay] I’ll be here.”  
“Okay,” I said, and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back.”  
I went downstairs, grabbed some flour, sugar, eggs, and milk, and got to it.  
* * *  
It took me about two hours, but the end result was spectacular. I had made a 4-tiered carrot cake with buttercream frosting, that I was going to share with Aiden… for our two-week anniversary![az][ba]  
I carried the cake upstairs and into Aiden’s room, where he was staring at his DS with a bored look on his face.  
He looked up and smiled as soon as I came into the room. “Wow! What’s all of this?” he asked.  
“I made some carrot cake, to celebrate our two-week anniversary. Well, it was on Friday… I’m sorry I’m a bit late.”  
“Don’t be sorry!” said Aiden, hugging me. “It looks amazing! It’s my favorite, too.”  
“You’re so sweet,” I said, putting the cake on the bed and pulling out some forks. “Here. Try it.”  
He did. His eyebrows shot up the moment he took a bite. “Ava! This… THIS IS INCREDIBLE!”  
He shoveled down about half of the cake before saying, “I can’t believe it… this is my new favorite food[bb][bc][bd]. Wait, actually, I CAN believe it.” He looked at me and grinned. “My girl can do anything.”  
I laughed, and leaned against him. He put his arm around me.  
Kate walked in. “Hey guys… I smelled something good,” she said. Then she saw the carrot cake. “Ooooh. That looks delicious. Can I have a slice?”  
Aiden’s mouth was full, but he nodded.  
“Sure,” I said. “It’s carrot cake, by the way.”[be][bf][bg]  
“Oooh, I do love some carrot cake,” said Kate, taking a knife and cutting two slices off. I thought that she was going to eat those, but instead she took the rest of the cake and left.  
Aiden and I stared. “Did… did your mom just take the whole cake?” I asked, turning to Aiden.  
Aiden was staring in horror at the tiny slices that were left by Kate. “She only left… two slices…” Aiden looked like he was going to cry.  
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I made some backup cookies.”  
“Oooh, yus!”  
I went down to the kitchen to get the tray of chocolate chip cookies that I had left on the table and let out a scream. Aiden was there in the blink of an eye.  
“Ava!” he yelled, his face full of concern. “What happened?”  
“KATE TOOK THE FLIPPING COOKIES, TOO!”  
Aiden’s face fell. “NOOOOOOO! WHY, MOM? WHYYYY?”  
Then I remembered. “Oh, thank God that we still have the lava cake.”  
Aiden turned to me, his face full of relief. “BLESS YOUR MAGNIFICENT SOUL, AVA!” he yelled, giving me a hug.SAPPHIRE  
“Okay, so as you know, Chris and I are at war,” said Betty… or, should I say, my mom.  
I was sitting in a small throne next to her’s at the Dog Army base. She was pointing at a map that listed some plan blueprints in front of an audience of dog soldiers. I nodded, eager to hear her plans. Not quite because I was going to support them… well… let’s just say that I was going to have a lot of fun… being a double agent.  
“We need you, Sapphire, to infiltrate the cat army base as a spy and gain knowledge about his plans, so that we are always one step ahead,” she continued, pacing. “We will be communicating through walkie-talkie so that you can tell me all of your discoveries.”  
“What if I get caught?” I asked.  
“You won’t,” she assured me. “I have complete faith in you. But in case of the improbable, just call me.” She waved a walkie-talkie in the air for emphasis. “You will be free to do any mischief to ruin his plans.”  
“All right,” I said, standing up. “I won’t disappoint you.” I left, trying not to laugh.

* * *  
A few minutes later, I found myself on Chris’s doorstep. I knocked on his door, and immediately felt myself fall. Oh no, not yet, I thought, hitting the ground hard. There can’t be a trap this early.  
“Friend or foe?” asked Chris, wearing his Cat Army general hat and looking down on me.  
“Friend!” I shouted, and a platform brought me back up to the surface.  
“Sapphire?” said Chris in surprise. Then he looked at me suspiciously. “What are YOU doing here?”  
“I’ve decided to help you!” I said quickly. “I want to help you win the war by telling you all of Betty’s plans.”  
Chris’s expression immediately adopted a smile. “Great!”  
“But I want to know all of your plans first,” I said. The fool actually bought it. This was going to be so much fun!  
“That sounds fair,” he said. “Why don’t you come inside?”

* * *  
“So,” said Betty, as I came through the door. “What did you discover?”  
“Okay,” I started. “Chris is planning to make a trail out of meatballs for your dog army to follow…”  
“Mmhmm…” Betty was listening carefully and jotting down notes. “What else?”  
“He wants to lead them to a trapdoor,” I continued. “And keep them there until you surrender and he wins the war.”  
“Thank you,” said Betty. “Your services are greatly appreciated. I have no doubt that this will be what we need to succeed!”  
“Yes,” I said, smiling. She had no idea how wrong she was.

* * *  
“So!” said Chris. I was back at the Cat Base. “Any new information?”  
“This is what I have obtained…” I began, taking out a steno pad. “Betty is planning to use water cannons and balloons to weaken your cat soldiers. She built a trapdoor underneath the battleground in which she hopes your cats will fall into when they follow a trail of catnip and yarn…”  
“Interesting,” said Chris. Then he turned to the tiny cat that was sitting on his shoulder. “You got all of that, Foofy?” The cat meowed in return, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.  
“Thank you, Sapphire,” said Chris. “Now here are some of my newest plans…”  
I kept this schtick up for three weeks. Battle after battle was lost, plan after plan was scrapped, mission after mission aborted. No one even suspected a thing. I was proud of myself.  
BETTY  
“This is our last battle, Chris,” I said, standing proudly with Lily on my shoulder and all of my available soldiers in formation behind me. The past few weeks had been like hell. Sapphire tried her best, supplying me with all of the information I needed to ruin Chris’s battle plans, but for some reason he always managed to stop mine, too.  
“I know,” he responded. He presented himself similarly to me: his pet cat was perched on his head with a ridiculous tiny army general hat. He, too, had his cat army behind him.  
“Whoever wins this will win the war,” I reminded him. “But we both know that that’ll be me; I will finally prove that cats are better than dogs!”  
Chris sneered and said, “Why don’t we let the battlefield decide?”  
I turned to Sapphy, who was standing at my side. “Sapphire, start the countdown from ten.  
“There are, after all, ten duel commandments,” she said. “Turn around.” I turned around once I saw that Chris did.  
“Okay,” said Sapphire. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… NUMBER TEN, PACES, FIRE!”[bh][bi]  
I turned the instant she stopped talking and fired. I heard a massive explosion, and had to wait for the smoke to clear to see who had won.  
Once it did, I gasped. “MEAT CANNONS!?”  
Chris gasped too. “WATER CANNONS!?”  
The battlefield was covered in water and raw meat. My soldiers completely lost it and went nuts on the food. Even Lily. Dang it, I thought I had trained them better than this.  
Nevertheless, I had hope, because there were still the water cannons that I had unleashed on Chris. But I looked up to see how his army was faring and… they were doing fine. They weren’t even trying to shake the water from their fur. They just stood in a perfect formation, weapons at ready. As for Chris, he was soaking wet, but he had this smug little look on his face. His cat peeked out from under his hat, where apparently he had dived for cover, and then perched on Chris’s shoulder, mimicking a triumphant glare. I just couldn’t believe it.  
“You… you… you… how is this possible…?  
Chris started to laugh in my face. “YOU THINK THAT YOUR LITTLE WATER CANNONS CAN OVERPOWER MY ARMY?”  
“You CHEATED!” I alleged.  
“DID NOT!”  
“DID TOO!”  
“DID NOT!”  
“DID TOO!”  
“DID NOT!”[bj][bk]  
I was going to yell at him again, but then I remembered I was still full of surprises, too.  
I smiled. “Well, just remember, I’ll always be one step ahead of you!”  
“Why?” asked Chris, still smiling triumphantly.  
“Because…” I reached behind my back and pulled out a grenade. “I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!” I[bl] launched it before he could even put his hands in the air. Then I whipped my head around and plugged my ears, just before a massive BOOM shook the ground and filled the air with smoke.  
Once it cleared, I looked across the battlefield to see a huge crater where the grenade had hit. I ran over and leaned over the edge of it, and announced to the world, “I WIN! DOGS ARE BETTER THAN CATS!”  
I figured that I had knocked Chris out for a few hours. And when he woke up… well HE WOULD FINALLY KNOW THAT I WOULD ALWAYS BE TRIUMPHANT!  
But I started celebrating too soon. Because in that moment I heard a groan. And it was coming from the crater.  
“I RISE!”[bm] Chris was conscious. I was in shock. So I didn’t move, while he crawled out of the hole and grabbed my leg. Then he pulled me down into the crater.  
“HEY! OW, LET ME GO!”  
“NEVER!” said Chris, now that our roles were switched. “IF YOU TAKE ME DOWN, I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN!” He laughed. “WHO’S THE LOSER NOW BETTY?”  
“You both are!” I looked up to see Sapphire at the edge of the crater. She was holding my special remote. Before I could say, “Stop!” she had already pressed the button, and a metal cage trapped us both.  
“Let me out, please, darling!” I said.  
“Nope!” said Sapphire. “Not until Chris admits it!”  
“I already did!” argued Chris. He didn’t really, but I decided to go along with that so I could get out of the stinking cage.  
Sapphire looked at as both with a satanic grin on her face. “Oh, not that. THE OTHER THING.”[bn][bo][bp]  
I looked at Chris and felt my face get hot. He was blushing, too, because we both knew what she was talking about.  
“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”  
“Oh, really?” Sapphire was grinning like a maniac… a smart one at that. “Well how about this… tell a lie, and I will force you to re-create that moment.”  
“WHAT!?” I yelled. I didn’t dare look at Chris. I just held my breath.  
Chris hesitated, and didn’t say anything for a while. Finally he sighed. “Okay… I admit it. It wasn’t an accident.”CHRIS  
“I just used that as an excuse…” I turned to look at Betty, who was blushing profusely and had her eyes wide open. “So that you wouldn’t find out that I like you. A lot.”  
Betty’s jaw dropped. She blushed harder. Then she flopped down on the floor in fetal position.  
It was a struggle, it really was. I was trying not to laugh or smile so hard that I felt like I was going to burst a blood vessel.  
Of course I was lying! There was no way in heck that I could ever like Betty! She was my enemy, for God’s sake! I just thought it would be kind of funny to mess with her… especially if she actually liked me.  
That thought made me want to puke, but then I thought about the heartbreak that I was about to cause, and I couldn’t resist a sneaky little grin.  
It couldn’t have lasted for longer than a second or two, but unfortunately, Sapphire caught it. She gasped. “You… YOU LIAR! NOW GET DOWN AND RECREATE THAT MOMENT, NOW!”  
Shit.  
I started to sweat nervously. “NO, PLEASE! I SWEAR THAT I DIDN’T LIE!” It should be said that I was a terrible liar if I wasn’t using any loopholes.  
Sapphire didn’t miss a beat. “TOO BAD! NOW RECREATE THAT MOMENT. NO TRIPPING ALLOWED! PUSH HER DOWN AND KISS!”  
“NOOOOOO! PLEASE, NO!”  
“DO IT NOW, OR I’LL SEND ALL OF YOUR CATS TO THE POUND!”  
No. I couldn’t allow that. I gasped. She was the cruelest person I had ever met. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled in despair. I bowed down at her feet. “PLEASE HAVE MERCY!”  
Betty lifted her head from the ground. “I regret telling her that,” I heard her mutter. “YOU ARE SO GROUNDED, MISSY!”  
Sapphire stuck her tongue out. “Oh well. At least I have entertainment where I want it!”  
I started crying in despair. I knew that there was no way I could force myself to kiss that dog-loving idiot, but the thought of losing all of my cats was just unbearable. “PLEASE, NO!”  
“Tick, tock, tick, tock. I have my phone and Animal Control on speed dial!” announced Sapphire.  
I picked myself off the ground. “F-fine,” I said decisively.  
Sapphire looked down on me. “Fine, WHAT?”  
“I’ll recreate the moment,” I said, looking at her dead in the eye.  
At this point Betty jumped up and started shaking the cage, trying in vain to escape. “NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!”  
“I DON’T WANT TO!” I said. I thought about just refusing. And then I saw Foofy’s face, and I knew I had to do it. “But I have to.”  
I shoved Betty to the ground. She covered her face. “Please don’t do this to me,” she pleaded. I had no choice. I kissed her, and she kicked me.  
“GET OF ME!” she yelled. She scrambled to her feet. She had a weird expression on her face. She was blushing really hard, and her mouth was somewhere between a smile and a grimace.  
She used her sleeve to wipe her mouth. Meanwhile, I was rubbing my face on the dirt. “Sorry…” I started, and then puked. “I’d rather lick the entire alley than kiss you again!” I declared, before puking again.  
“Hmmm…” it was Sapphire’s voice. I really wanted to kill that kid. “It wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be…”  
I stood up to tell her off again, but when I opened my mouth I just threw up again.  
“Oh well,” she said, smiling again. “AT LEAST I RECORDED THE WHOLE THING!”  
“YOU RECORDED THE WHOLE THING?!” Betty and I yelled in unison, then looked at each other in disgust.  
“Oh, yes,” said Sapphire, smiling smugly. “And I uploaded it.”  
“OH, YOU ARE GROUNDED!” declared Betty.  
“WHERE DID YOU UPLOAD IT TO?” I asked.  
“Oh, you know,” said Sapphy, swinging her phone around. “Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Musical.ly, YouTube…”  
At this point, Betty passed out cold. Sapphire laughed and lifted the cage. I was stunned for a few seconds, but then I leaped out of the crater and used Betty’s water cannons to crush Sapphire’s phone. She stared at her phone’s remains in horror.  
“Oh. Huh. I can actually use this!” I said to myself cheerfully.  
“My… MY PHONE!” Sapphire was horrified. “YOU BETTER BUY ME A NEW ONE!”  
“Oh. Sure,” I said. I walked over and tossed her an old flip phone that no longer had service that I had found earlier that day. “There’s your phone.”  
“NO! I WANT A SMARTPHONE!”  
“I’m not your dad,” I said, relieved of the burden. “I don’t have to buy you stuff.”  
“YOU ARE TOO MY DAD!” yelled Sapphy. I was about to argue, but then she said, “Betty told me so.”  
I stopped, feeling kind of uncomfortable. That would mean…  
Ugh. I shuddered at that thought. “Well, I’m NOT,” I stated.  
“Technically, you are. You said it yourself: that you were going to be adopting me.”  
“But I never did adopt you.”  
“You never told me that.” I opened my mouth to argue, but then Sapphire said, “Oh knock it off, stop denying it. I know that you love her.”  
I was in shock. “WHAT!? WHY WOULD I LIKE THAT DOG-LOVING IDIOT!?”  
“She’s your age…”  
“SO?!”  
Sapphire thought for a second. “Hmmm… What if she liked cats?”  
“Well, maybe…”  
“HA! YOU SAID MAYBE!”  
I gave her an annoyed look. “I was going to say, maybe NEVER.”  
“Yeah, right. Come on, admit it! Betty completes you. She gives you reason to fight. Without her, you don’t have anyone. You are nothing.”  
“She’s my enemy, you idiot,” I countered. “And besides… I have Ted.” It occurred to me that I had not been a very good friend these past few weeks. Sapphire was right, in a way. Betty had been taking all of my attention. That was going to change, though.[bq]  
“Oh, sure,” said Sapphire. Then she gave me a knowing look. “But not for long…”  
“Wait, what?” I asked, confused.  
“He’s been spending all of his free time with Nick, you idiot! You haven’t noticed? Or were you too caught up in love and war?”TED  
“It’s really nice to just be able to hang out without Betty,” said Nick, who was sitting next to me on the park bench.  
“Yeah. And Chris isn’t here to stop us!” I said, thinking about how Chris would pretty much do anything to keep Nick and I apart.[br][bs]  
Suddenly Nick got quiet and started fiddling with his hands. “Hey, Ted?”  
“Yeah?”  
“C-can I… ask you something?” He looked really nervous for some reason. His body was tense and he was blushing pretty hard.  
“Sure,” I said, right before I got a text message. It was Ava. Third time this week that she was threatening to destroy my Jeffmelons. So naturally, I responded, listening to Nick while looking at my phone.  
“Will… will you… ummm… err…”  
I looked up. “Will I what?”  
“Errr… will… will…”  
He was really struggling. I wondered what he was trying to say. I got kind of impatient. “Just say it.”  
“WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!” he finally yelled, loud enough for there to be a few pedestrians who gave us strange looks. I was silent for a few moments. Nick covered his face, probably to avoid my stare, or possibly to cover up the fact that he was blushing profusely. His face might’ve been covered, but his bright red ears weren’t.  
I most likely was also blushing, just as hard if not harder. I also felt like I had a stupid grin plastered on my face, but I wasn’t really sure. I didn’t say anything for a bit, but then I realized that the whole world was waiting for my response (well that’s what it felt like).  
“O-oh! Well, s-sure!” I finally said, feeling a bit pressured but mostly pleasantly surprised. After all, I had only known Nick for… what? A couple months?  
Nick took his head out of his hands. “W-wait… really?”  
“Sure!” I said, suddenly excited. It was my first date, after all. “How about tonight at 5?”  
Nick was still staring at me with a look of disbelief, but a smile was slowly creeping into his face. “O-OKAY. DEAL. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET?”  
I thought for a bit. “Hmmm… how about on the rooftops?” I suggested.  
“Okay,” Nick smiled at me. “Rooftops it is!”  
The look on Nick’s face was one of sheer ecstasy, and I felt good knowing that I caused it.  
* * *  
A few minutes later I was on my way to the playground, where I may or may not have left Aiden and Ava unsupervised. Luckily they were still alive.[bt] and a moment later my phone rang. It was Chris.  
“Watermelon here,” I said.  
“This is Cat,” said Chris in a kind of nervous tone of voice.  
“Ok, what happened, Chris?” I said, because I knew that he would sometimes get attacked randomly by dogs on the street.  
“I… I want to ask you something,” he said.  
“Shoot.”  
“Will you… go out with me tomorrow?”  
“Sure,” I said quickly. Two thoughts ran through my head way too late. The first one was, You’re already going on a date with Nick. The second one was, Shit. How can I say no to this? I gotta say no to this.  
“Wait, really?” Chris had the same bit of disbelief that Nick had, but it didn’t last long. “YESSSS! MEET ME AT MY HOUSE WE’RE GONNA HAVE A MOVIE NIGHT IN MY ROOM IT’LL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!” he was actually shouting into the phone, so I had to hold it about a eight inches away from my face.  
“Jesus, Chris! You were more excited than…” I caught myself just in time. Then again, it probably would’ve been better if I had caught myself a bit early.  
“Than who?” asked Chris. Curiosity killed the cat.  
So I said, “THAN AVA SEEING AIDEN AFTER BEING GROUNDED,” possibly a little too quickly.  
“Okay!” he responded cheerfully. “Bye, Watermelon!”  
“Bye, Cat!”  
It should be said that I was a bit shaken as I hung up. “Two dates…” I said to myself. “Jesus Christ, Ted, you’re a player.”  
I wasn’t quiet enough. Ava literally popped out of nowhere. “ARE YOU GOING ON TWO DATES, TED?”[bu]  
Shit. I was caught. “No, that’s Betty,” I said.  
“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID,” she responded, and laughed.  
“Go play with Aiden!” I ordered.  
“Fine,” she said. “But you owe me some cake!”  
“I don’t know how to bake. That’s Chris’s department.”  
“Oh, right. Your boyfriend owes me cake, then. Or should I say, one of your boyfriends.”[bv]  
“Just go.”  
“Okay,” she said, and skipped off. Then she turned and pointed at me, like I was some kind of target. “Cake!”  
“I know, I know.”  
* * *  
I wasn’t sure for how long I had been sleeping on the bench. It couldn’t have been more than an hour, though, which gave me plenty of time to take Ava and Aiden home, get ready for the date, and maybe even pick up some food. I was hungry.  
“Hey, Ava!” I said, rubbing my eyes. “What time is it?”  
She looked over to me and struck a pose that might have been heroic, holding up a plank of wood that resembled a sword. “ADVENTURE TIME!” she yelled, and jumped off the structure.[bw]  
“I’m serious, Ava.”  
“It’s the same time it was 24 hours ago.”  
“Okay, stop being a smartmouth or you’re grounded.”  
“I don’t have a watch! I’ll ask Aiden.”  
A few moments later, Aiden yelled, “It’s 15 minutes until five!”  
“WHAT!” Naturally this news sent me into a panic. My date with Nick was at 5 o’clock SHARP!  
I quickly dialed Chris. “CAT!” I yelled urgently.  
“Watermelon?”  
“CAN YOU PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND PICK UP BUNNY ONE AND BUNNY TWO?”  
“SURE! WHY ARE WE YELLING?”[bx]  
“I HAVE TO GO, THEY’RE BOTH AT THE PARK,” I was already racing down the street. “BYE!”  
“BYE!”  
Shit shit shit shit shit, I thought to myself. Nick is going to kill me!  
NICK  
It was about the tenth time that I had checked my watch. It was already five past five. I had arrived fifteen minutes early, so I had been waiting for a while. I started at my wristwatch until it turned from 5:05 to 5:06 to 5:07.  
Maybe he forgot about me, I thought sadly. Maybe he just decided to ditch me. Maybe…  
“I’M HERE, NICK!” announced a voice, and I turned to see Ted catapult to the rooftop, then flop onto the floor, panting.  
I helped him up. “Are you okay?”  
“I… JUST RAN… FOUR BLOCKS TO GET HERE…”  
“If it was too much of a hassle for you, you could’ve just canceled,” I said, still a bit hurt. “I would understand.”  
“What? No! I’m fine,” said Ted. “Sorry.”  
“It’s okay.” I had to be fair. He just ran four blocks to be here, after all. “So why did you want our date to be here?”  
“So we can see the stars, of course!” he responded, pointing to the sky. “I can name all of the constellations. Do you want me to show you?”[by][bz]  
“Oh! Sure,” I said, and sat down next to him.  
* * *  
We stargazed for a while. It was really enjoyable to just be alone with Ted and the night sky. At this point I could probably name every constellation that the sky had to offer with my eyes closed.  
Three hours must have passed before my phone dinged and brought me back to reality. It was Betty.  
“Oops,” I said, quickly responding. “I have to go now. Betty needs help with some stuff…” I was being vague, but it was because someone (Chris) had taken her plans, which I didn’t want to say out loud.[ca]  
“Oh. Okay,” said Ted, getting up.  
“Thanks for everything,” I said, blushing and giving him a hug. “Maybe we can do this some other time.”  
“Yeah,” said Ted, hugging me back. “Bye.”  
“Bye,” I said, and winked at him.  
“Bye,” he said, raising his eyebrow distractedly.  
TED  
I hopped off the roof and waved Nick goodbye. For a very first date, it really wasn’t bad. It was late, so I walked home, whistling. My phone rang.


End file.
